The Question I've Been Asking for 40 Years That Reveals the Tiger Within
Feb 26, 2026After four decades in behavioral health, I've asked thousands of questions.
Diagnostic questions. Assessment questions. Clinical questions designed to reveal what's happening beneath the surface.
I've sat with people in crisis—in emergency rooms, in living rooms, in moments where life hung in the balance.
I've watched some people rise from adversity stronger than before.
And I've watched others stay broken.
And after forty years, thousands of conversations, and my own journey through homelessness and near-death—I've learned something most clinicians never figure out:
The most important question about resilience isn't clinical.
It's not "What are your symptoms?"
It's not "What strategies have you tried?"
It's not "What happened to you?"
It's this:
What is the Tiger within you—the grounded strength that kept you standing when everything said fall?
That one question reveals more about resilience than any assessment, any framework, any diagnostic tool.
And the answer—the real answer—tells me everything I need to know about whether someone will rise or stay down.
Pain
This is for the people who've been through assessments, evaluations, and frameworks—and still don't understand their own resilience.
Who've been asked a hundred questions about what happened—but never about what kept them going.
Who've been told to identify their strengths—but never asked to name the force inside them that refuses to quit.
If you've ever filled out a resilience assessment and thought "this doesn't capture what actually matters"…
If you've ever wondered what makes some people unshakeable while others crumble under similar pressure…
If you've ever survived something hard—and couldn't explain how you did it…
You're not missing information.
You're missing the question.
The one question that cuts through everything else and reveals what resilience actually is.
Why Most Questions About Resilience Miss the Point
Most resilience assessments ask about behaviors and strategies.
"How do you handle stress?"
"What coping mechanisms do you use?"
"What support systems do you have?"
And those questions have value.
But they miss what actually matters.
Because resilience isn't about what you do.
It's about what's inside you that won't quit—even when every strategy fails and every support system disappears.
Research on post-traumatic growth consistently shows that people who thrive after adversity don't necessarily have better strategies or more support.
What they have is something internal—a core sense of self that doesn't depend on circumstances.
A grounded strength that existed before the crisis and remains after.
An identity that adversity tests but doesn't destroy.
And you can't assess that with a checklist.
You have to ask the question differently.
The Question That Changes Everything
Forty years ago, I started asking a different question.
Not in clinical language.
Not as an assessment tool.
But as a human being sitting with another human being who was trying to survive.
What is the Tiger within you?
What is the grounded strength that kept you standing when everything seemed to fall?
Some people answer immediately.
"I couldn't let my kids see me quit."
"Something in me refused to be defined by what happened."
"I made a decision that this wouldn't destroy me—and that decision was non-negotiable."
That's the Tiger.
Others pause. Look confused. Say "I don't know—I just kept going."
And I say: "That. That right there. The part of you that kept going when you couldn't explain why. That's the Tiger within."
And everything shifts.
Because now we're not talking about strategies, symptoms, or support systems.
We're talking about the force inside them that's been there all along—the grounded strength they didn't know how to name.
And once you name it, everything changes.
My Own Answer: When the Trees Came Down
November 16, 2025.
Two months ago.
Two 60-foot ash trees came crashing down on top of me.
One second from death.
Crushing compression injury. Traumatic shock in the ER. Blood pressure plummeting.
And lying on that gurney, wondering if I'd survive a tree only to die in a hospital, I asked myself the same question I've been asking others for forty years:
What is the Tiger within me?
And the answer came immediately.
Not a strategy. Not a thought. Not a plan.
A knowing.
I've survived worse than this. And I'll survive this too.
Not confidence. Not positive thinking.
A grounded certainty that didn't need circumstances to prove it.
That's the Tiger within.
At 17, sleeping in a snow bank with no family and no support—the Tiger was there.
At 56, crushed by falling trees, the same Tiger was still there.
Not because I built it in the moment.
Because I'd been feeding it for forty years.
And that's what the question reveals.
Not what you do when life gets hard.
But what inside you refuses to quit—no matter what.
THE SHIFT
Most questions about resilience focus on external factors.
What happened. What you did. What support did you have?
But the Tiger Resilience Lens reframes everything.
The Tiger within is not what you do.
It's what you are—a grounded strength that exists independent of circumstances.
The Phoenix within is not what you hope for.
It's the capacity to rise that's been there all along—waiting to be activated.
The question isn't "How do I become resilient?"
The question is "What is already inside me that refuses to break?"
And when you answer that question honestly—when you name the Tiger within—you stop chasing resilience like it's something outside you.
You start feeding the strength that's already there.
The Five Pillars of Tiger Resilience and the Question
Purpose π― — Heart
When you ask, "What is the Tiger within me?" you're really asking, "What do I stand for that adversity can't take away?" That's purpose—grounded and non-negotiable.
Planning πΊοΈ — Mind
The Tiger doesn't panic. It assesses. When you know your internal strength, planning becomes possible even in chaos because you're grounded in something that doesn't depend on the plan working.
Practice π — Body
Every time you feed the Tiger—every boundary set, every moment of integrity chosen, every time you stay present in discomfort—you're practicing. The Tiger strengthens through use.
Perseverance ποΈ — Spirit
The Tiger IS perseverance. The refusal to quit. The decision to keep standing. Not because you know the outcome—but because quitting isn't an option.
Providence π — Spirit
The Tiger trusts the process without needing to control it. It knows: "I'm exactly where I need to be—even here." That trust is power.
The Tiger Within Across the Four Domains
Body πͺ
The Tiger lives in your body first. The steadiness of your breath. The groundedness of your posture. The way you hold yourself under pressure.
Mind π§
The Tiger sharpens your mind—clarity when others panic, focus when chaos surrounds you, the ability to think when emotions run high.
Heart β€οΈ
The Tiger protects your heart—boundaries without walls, openness without fragility, the capacity to stay present in relationships without losing yourself.
Spirit π₯
The Tiger anchors your spirit—connection to something larger, belief that you're built to withstand this, trust that adversity has purpose you can't see yet.
Why This Question Works
This question works because it doesn't ask what you did.
It asks who you are when everything external is stripped away.
And that answer—the real answer—reveals whether resilience is something you're performing or something you're embodying.
If resilience is performance, it collapses under sustained pressure.
If resilience is identity, it holds.
The Tiger within is not something you do.
It's who you are when nothing else is working.
Phoenix Steps: Asking Yourself the Question
- Ask yourself right now: What is the Tiger within me? Not what you do. What is inside you refuses to break.
- Recall one moment you stood firm when everyone said quit. That was your Tiger. Name it specifically.
- Notice how your body feels when you remember that moment. That physical sensation is where your Tiger lives. Return there when you need it.
- Feed the Tiger this week. One boundary. One act of integrity. One moment of staying present in discomfort. Watch it strengthen.
- Ask someone you respect: What do you see as the Tiger within me? Sometimes others see our strength more clearly than we do.
- The Tiger is already there. Your only job is to recognize it, name it, and feed it.
Journal Prompts
- What is the Tiger within me—and when have I felt it most powerfully?
- What have I survived that proves the Tiger is real?
- If the Tiger within me could speak, what would it say?
- What's one way I've been starving the Tiger—and how can I feed it instead?
- Who in my life embodies the Tiger—and what can I learn from them?
RISE
After forty years in behavioral health, I've learned something most clinicians never figure out.
The most important question about resilience isn't clinical.
It's not "What are your symptoms?"
It's not "What happened to you?"
It's this:
What is the Tiger within you—the grounded strength that kept you standing when everything said fall?
That question cuts through every assessment, every framework, every strategy.
Because resilience isn't about what you do.
It's about what's inside you that refuses to break—no matter what.
At 17, homeless in a snow bank, the Tiger was there.
At 56, crushed by falling trees, the same Tiger was still there.
Not because I'm special.
But because I learned to recognize it, name it, and feed it.
The Tiger within is not something you build.
It's something you wake up.
The Tiger teaches you that the strength you're searching for is already inside you—you just have to stop looking outside yourself.
The Phoenix teaches you that transformation doesn't destroy the Tiger—it reveals it more clearly.
Together, they remind you:
You already have what you need.
You just need to recognize it.
I've been asking this question for forty years.
And now I'm bringing it to a new platform—Silver Warriors Journey—where I sit down with remarkable people over 50 who've faced extraordinary adversity.
And I ask them the same question:
What is the Tiger within you?
Not because their stories are unique.
But their answers reveal what resilience actually looks like when tested over decades.
Every conversation is proof that the Tiger within doesn't fade with age.
It strengthens.
Find these conversations on the Tiger Resilience YouTube channel.
Because sometimes hearing someone else name their Tiger helps you recognize your own.
π Please leave a comment: What is the Tiger within you—the grounded strength that keeps you standing when everything says fall?
Rise Strong and Live Boldly in the Bond of the Phoenix. π π₯
Bernie & Michael Tiger
Tiger Resilience Founders
This post was written by Bernie Tiger
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