The Two Faces of Tension: How Eustress Fuels Growth and Distress Holds Us Back

Seventy percent.

That’s how many Americans report feeling tension every single day—tight shoulders, racing thoughts, that restless buzz under the skin. But not all tension is created equal. Some of it breaks us down; some of it builds us up. The difference can be the line between burnout and breakthrough.

I remember sitting in my car after a long hospital shift, every muscle in my body wound tight. Was this the kind of tension that would drive me forward, or the kind that would drive me into the ground? That question—one I’ve wrestled with since my earliest days of homelessness and survival—became a turning point in how I approached every challenge, every “stretch” life threw my way.

Pain

This is for the high-achievers who can’t sleep, the caregivers who feel pulled in every direction, the professionals and parents who think “relax” is a foreign language. Maybe you’re exhausted by the constant hum of stress, or maybe you secretly crave the rush of a new challenge. But how do you know when tension is helping you grow—and when it’s eating you alive?

Hans Selye, the father of stress research, called this the difference between eustress and distress. Eustress—the “good” stress—lights a fire in your belly, sharpens your focus, and pushes you to grow. Distress, on the other hand, is the slow leak that drains your energy, erodes your confidence, and leaves you feeling stuck or broken.

I’ve lived both. When I was 17 and homeless, every day was a test of survival—distress at its purest. But when I found my way into behavioral health, that same tension became fuel. The Tiger in me learned to channel pressure into purpose. Michael, too, felt this duality: athletic training gave him eustress, but injury and recovery threatened to tip him into distress. The Phoenix in him had to learn when to fight, and when to let go and heal.

The Shift: The Tiger’s Five Pillars of Resilience in Action

Purpose 🎯:
Tension is a signal. Ask yourself: What is this tension trying to teach me? Is it pushing me toward a goal, or warning me to slow down?

Planning 🗺️:
Don’t let tension run wild. Map out your day with intentional breaks, movement, and moments of calm. Eustress thrives in structure; distress thrives in chaos.

Practice 🔄:
When you feel tension rising, use it as a cue to act. Take a walk, stretch, breathe deeply, or tackle a micro-task. Channel nervous energy into momentum.

Perseverance 🏔️:
Growth comes from staying with the tension—not fleeing from it, but not letting it consume you. The Tiger’s strength is in holding steady; the Phoenix’s wisdom is in knowing when to surrender.

Providence 🌅:
Trust that tension, when harnessed, can spark transformation. Not every knot needs to be untied today. Sometimes, presence is enough.

Body, Mind, Heart, Spirit: The Four Domains in Tension

Body 🐅: Notice where tension lives—jaw, shoulders, gut. Is it energizing or exhausting? Move with intention to release what’s not serving you.

Mind 🧠: Eustress sharpens focus; distress clouds judgment. Use awareness and reframing to shift your mindset.

Heart ❤️: Emotional tension can signal growth (like the nerves before a big conversation) or harm (like chronic resentment). Listen to your heart’s cues.

Spirit 🕊️: Tension can be a teacher, inviting you to realign with your values and purpose.

Phoenix Steps

1. Notice your body’s signals. Is this tension energizing or exhausting?
2. Reframe with purpose. Ask, “What is this tension here to teach me?”
3. Plan micro-breaks. Schedule pauses for breath, movement, or reflection.
4. Practice gratitude. Find one challenge today that’s helping you grow.
5. Reach for support. Don’t go it alone when distress tips into overwhelm.

Roadblock

Don’t ignore chronic distress—what you resist, persists. Suppressed tension will surface somewhere, somehow. The Tiger faces tension head-on; the Phoenix knows when to rest and let the fire cool.

Journal Prompts

• Where in my life is tension energizing me?
• Where is it draining me?
• How do I typically respond to rising tension?
• What’s one area where I can reframe distress as eustress?
• Who can help me regulate when I feel overwhelmed?

RISE

Tension is not the enemy—it’s a signal. Learn to listen, and you’ll discover the Tiger’s strength and the Phoenix’s renewal in every challenge.

📍Please leave a comment or reply on how stress holds you back.

Rise Strong and Live Boldly in the Bond of the Phoenix.

Bernie & Michael Tiger         

Tiger Resilience 🐅    

🌟 For Parents and Educators Who Believe in Raising Brave, Kind Kids 🌟

We’ve poured our hearts into Tiger Resilience for years—helping adults heal, grow, and find purpose through life’s toughest moments. Now, we’re bringing that same mission to the next generation.

Introducing the Tiger Resilience Kids Book Series! 📚🧡
We’re thrilled to share our first two storybooks:
Theo and the Courageous Climb and Phoebe and the Sky of Second Chances.

These gentle, magical adventures are designed to help kids build emotional resilience, confidence, and the courage to keep going—even when things get tough. Each story draws from the same Five Pillars and Four Domains that guide our adult programs, but reimagined for young hearts and minds. They’re filled with vibrant illustrations, memorable characters, and messages that matter.

✨ Ready to bring resilience and kindness to your family, classroom, or community?
Grab your copies of the Tiger Resilience Kids books here: AMAZON

Your support means the world to us. Every book purchased helps us grow this movement—empowering families to connect, learn, and thrive together through the power of story.

Thank you for believing in the next generation of tigers and phoenixes. Together, let’s help our kids rise strong.

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