The Verdict Is Yours to Decide: Why Your Circumstances Don't Determine Your Purpose, Your Response Does
Mar 27, 2026The doctors gave my father six months to live.
My father gave himself over for three years.
That's the difference between accepting a verdict and deciding your own.
Most people think circumstances determine outcomes.
That if you're diagnosed with inoperable cancer, you have six months.
That if you're abandoned at 17 with no support, you're destined to fail.
That if you lose your career at 55, your best years are behind you.
But here's what I learned from watching my father fight for his life, and from fighting for my own at 17:
Circumstances propose. You dispose.
Life hands you a verdict.
A diagnosis. A loss. A betrayal. A collapse.
And in that moment, you have a choice:
Accept the verdict they gave you, or decide your own.
My father was given a verdict.
Inoperable colon cancer. Six months to live.
He decided on a different one.
Three years. Thriving, not just surviving.
I was given a verdict.
Homeless at 17. Abandoned. No support. No future.
I decided a different one.
"I will have that kind of life." The one I saw in families laughing at Christmas.
The verdict is always yours to decide.
Not because you control circumstances.
But because you control your response.
Pain
This is for the people who feel trapped by their circumstances.
Those who have been told "this is just how it is" so many times have started to believe it.
Who look at their situation and think there's no other option, no other outcome, no other future.
Who've accepted the verdict life handed them because they don't know they can write their own.
If you've ever thought "I have no choice"...
If you've ever felt like your fate is sealed and there's nothing you can do about it...
If you've ever looked at your circumstances and believed they determine your future...
You're not trapped.
You've just accepted a verdict you didn't have to accept.
And the moment you realize that, everything changes.
The Verdict My Father Was Given
- My father is diagnosed with inoperable colon cancer.
The doctors are clear:
Six months to live.
That's the verdict.
And he could have accepted it.
He could have said, "Okay. Six months. I'll get my affairs in order. I'll prepare to die."
But he didn't.
Instead, he looked at that verdict and said:
"I will thrive with what I'm facing."
Not survive.
Not endure.
Not make the most of six months.
THRIVE.
And the moment he decided that verdict, everything changed.
He quit smoking immediately.
No more alcohol.
No more Entenmann's cakes, his beloved coffee cakes that he could eat an entire one in a single night.
No more refined sugar.
He became what you would call a health fanatic overnight.
Bags of vitamins. Yogurt. Liver. Protein. Metaphysical study. Spiritual grounding.
He put a plan in place to execute HIS verdict, not theirs.
And he didn't just survive six months.
He thrived for over three years.
Not because he was lucky.
Because he decided his verdict and built his life around it.
The Verdict I Was Given
Five years after my father died, I was 17 years old.
My family had disintegrated.
My mother remarried a man who had no interest in the kids.
Within a year and a half, I was homeless.
Living in a snow bank in Central Park at Christmas.
No family. No support. No direction.
That was the verdict life handed me.
Abandoned. Alone. Destined to fail.
And I could have accepted it.
I could have said, "This is just how it is. I got a bad deal. Some kids make it, some don't."
But I didn't.
Because I heard families walking by Columbus Circle.
Laughing. Buying presents. Together.
And I thought:
"I will have that kind of life."
Not "I hope."
Not "maybe someday."
"I WILL."
I knew I might have to work five times harder.
I knew it might take ten times longer.
But if I believed, like my father did, I could also have that type of life.
The verdict was mine to decide.
And that decision became the foundation I built everything on.
Not because circumstances changed.
Because my response to them did.
THE SHIFT
Most people think circumstances determine outcomes.
That if you're dealt a bad hand, you lose.
That if life gives you a verdict, you have to accept it.
But the Tiger Resilience lens reframes everything.
The Tiger within refuses to accept external verdicts.
It decides its own.
The Phoenix within knows that transformation begins the moment you stop accepting what was given and start deciding what will be.
Together, they remind you:
Circumstances propose. You dispose.
The verdict is always yours to decide.
Why This Matters at 50 Plus
At 50 plus, life hands out verdicts constantly.
Career loss:
"You're too old. You're obsolete. Your best years are behind you."
Health crisis:
"This is just aging. This is decline. This is what happens now."
Divorce or loss:
"You're starting over too late. The good ones are taken. You missed your window."
Financial collapse:
"You should have saved more. You should have planned better. It's too late to recover."
These are verdicts.
And every single one gives you a choice:
Accept it, or decide your own.
My father was given six months.
He decided three years.
I was given homelessness and abandonment.
I decided "that kind of life."
What verdict are you accepting that you don't have to?
How to Decide Your Own Verdict
Deciding your own verdict isn't about positive thinking.
It's not about denying reality or pretending circumstances don't matter.
It's about refusing to let circumstances write your future.
Here's how to do it:
Name the verdict you've been given.
What has life told you is inevitable?
What has someone else decided about your future?
Write it down.
Reject it.
Not because it's wrong.
But because it's not the only option.
My father's doctors weren't wrong that his cancer was inoperable.
But they were wrong that six months was the only outcome.
Decide your own verdict.
What are YOU deciding instead?
Not hoping. Not wishing.
Deciding.
"I will ______."
Write it down.
Align everything with YOUR verdict.
My father's verdict: "I will thrive."
His plan: Radical lifestyle change.
His practice: Daily discipline.
His perseverance: Holding the standard for three years.
His providence: Trusting something greater.
Everything aligned with the verdict HE decided.
The Five Pillars as Execution of Your Verdict
Once you decide your verdict, the Five Pillars become the execution strategy.
Purpose π―, Heart
Purpose IS your verdict. The decision you make about what's possible regardless of circumstances.
Planning πΊοΈ, Mind
Planning maps how to execute your verdict. My father decided to thrive, then planned exactly what that required.
Practice π, Body
Practice is daily alignment with your verdict. Small habits compounded over time that serve the decision you made.
Perseverance ποΈ, Spirit
Perseverance is holding your verdict when circumstances try to override it. My father held his for three years despite his body failing.
Providence π , Spirit
Providence is trusting that your verdict matters, even when outcomes are uncertain. That your effort aligns with something greater.
What Happened Because My Father Decided His Verdict
My father didn't just survive six months.
He thrived for over three years.
But more than that, he gave me something I didn't have words for until decades later:
Proof that the verdict is yours to decide.
When I was homeless at 17, I remembered watching him.
I remembered seeing a man who was given a death sentence and decided to live anyway.
I remembered watching him transform his entire life overnight because his verdict required it.
And I knew:
If he could decide his verdict when facing inoperable cancer, I could decide mine when facing homelessness.
That inheritance saved my life.
Not because he taught me strategies.
But because he showed me that circumstances don't write the ending.
You do.
Phoenix Steps: Deciding Your Own Verdict
- Name the verdict you've been given. Career loss? Health crisis? Age discrimination? Financial collapse? Write it down.
- Reject it. Not because it's false, but because it's not the only option. Say out loud: "I reject this verdict."
- Decide your own. "I will ______." Be specific. Be bold. Write it down.
- Align everything with your verdict. What needs to change for your verdict to be true? Plan it. Practice it. Persevere through it.
- Join others doing the same. Tigers Den exists for men 50 plus deciding their own verdicts after life tried to write them off.
The verdict is yours. Always has been. Always will be.
Journal Prompts
- What verdict has life tried to give me that I've been accepting?
- If I rejected that verdict and decided my own, what would I decide instead?
- What would have to change for my verdict to become real?
- Who in my life has decided their own verdict despite circumstances, and what did they teach me?
- If I knew the verdict was always mine to decide, what would I do differently starting today?
RISE
The doctors gave my father six months to live.
My father gave himself over three years.
That's the difference between accepting a verdict and deciding your own.
Most people think circumstances determine outcomes.
That if you're dealt a bad hand, you lose.
That if life gives you a verdict, you have to accept it.
But that's not how it works.
Circumstances propose.
You dispose.
The Tiger within refuses to accept external verdicts.
It decides its own.
The Phoenix within knows that transformation begins the moment you stop accepting what was given and start deciding what will be.
Together, they remind you:
The verdict is always yours to decide.
Not because you control circumstances.
But because you control your response.
My father was given inoperable cancer and six months.
He decided to thrive for three years.
I was given homelessness and abandonment at 17.
I decided, "I will have that kind of life."
And if you're 50-plus right now, facing a verdict you didn't choose:
Career loss. Health crisis. Divorce. Financial collapse. Displacement.
You have a choice.
Accept the verdict they gave you.
Or decide your own.
My father's verdict wasn't about denying reality.
It was about refusing to let reality write the ending.
He wrote his own.
For three years, he thrived with inoperable cancer.
For three years, he showed me that the verdict is always yours.
And when he died, that inheritance became mine.
The knowledge that no matter what life hands me, the verdict is mine to decide.
That's Purpose.
That's Pillar #1.
And it's yours too.
πΊ WATCH THE FULL STORY
This blog is based on the first video in my Five Pillars series, where I tell the story of my father deciding his verdict despite a six-month prognosis, and how I used that same principle at 17 when I was homeless in Central Park.
π Pillar #1, Purpose
If this resonated with you, subscribe to Silver Warriors Journey for the rest of the Five Pillars series.
Tigers Den is a community for men 50 plus who've been handed verdicts by life and are deciding their own instead.
Not accepting. Deciding.
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If you're 50-plus and ready to stop accepting verdicts and start deciding them, Tigers Den was built for you.
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π Please leave a comment: What verdict has life tried to give you, and what verdict are you deciding instead?
Rise Strong and Live Boldly in the Bond of the Phoenix. π π₯
Bernie & Michael Tiger
Tiger Resilience Founders
This post was written by Bernie Tiger
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