Solitude: The Power of Being Alone

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📚 Read Time: 8 Minutes 

There’s a big difference between being alone and being lonely. 

Solitude is not absence; it’s presence of a different kind. It’s the space where noise fades, where reflection becomes possible, and where we learn to hear our own voice again. 

In a world that rewards constant connection, stillness can feel almost rebellious. But solitude isn’t isolation; it’s a state of restoration. It’s where we return to center, sort through the noise, and find clarity in who we are and where we’re heading. 

This week, we’re exploring the power of solitude: not as withdrawal, but as one of the most vital and overlooked elements of resilience. 

What we’ll cover: 

🧭 What Is Solitude? — Why being alone is not the same as being lonely, and how solitude fuels self-awareness 

🧠🩺 The Science of Solitude: What neuroscience and physiology reveal about reflection, creativity, and nervous system reset 

📊 Stats Worth Knowing: How solitude affects emotional health, creativity, and focus in a hyperconnected world 

🐅 Tiger Resilience Lens: Solitude vs. Isolation across body, mind, heart, and spirit 

🏋️ Michael’s Training Corner: Training alone, building mental endurance, and finding presence in movement 

🌍 Real-World Spotlight: A thinker who turned solitude into art and insight 

📝 Journal Exercise: Reflective prompts to help you embrace solitude as strength, with our self-esteem journal tie-in 

🔥 Final Thoughts: Solitude through the Five Pillars of Tiger Resilience 

 If you missed any previous issues, you can always find them, along with the full archive, in the Tiger Resilience Newsletter Library. Share this with someone who might need a reminder that silence can be sacred.

🧭 What Is Solitude? 

Solitude simply means being physically alone without actively interacting with others. According to psychologist Thuy‑vy Nguyen, solitude is a neutral state that can be positive, negative, or neutral depending on how we frame it. It differs from: 

• Loneliness: a distressing feeling of disconnection when your desired social interactions do not match your reality.   
• Social isolation: an objective lack of relationships or contact with others 

You can feel lonely in a crowded room or feel deeply connected while hiking alone. What matters is choice and attitude. Research shows that when time alone is chosen and framed as an opportunity for rest and reflection, it leads to reduced stress and greater autonomy satisfaction. Unwanted or imposed solitude, by contrast, can increase loneliness and dissatisfaction. 

Solitude is not isolation. As writer Ari Weinzweig notes, solitude gives us space for reflection and self‑awareness, while loneliness is a painful sense of isolation. It is a skill to develop, not something to fear. 

Michael’s Perspective: Sitting in the Quiet Room 

I came across a quote recently from Blaise Pascal, a French mathematician and physicist I admittedly hadn’t heard of until I saw it on a self-help page. He said, “All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.” 

At first, I kind of laughed. I thought, I’m good at that. I’m someone who likes being alone. I train alone, write alone, spend a lot of time in my own head. I figured I had that one covered. But when I sat with it for a minute, I realized how untrue that really is. 

Because even when I’m “alone,” there’s still noise. There’s music, a podcast, the phone, the laptop open in the corner. Almost every moment that feels like solitude still has some kind of stimulus attached to it. It’s like I’ve tricked myself into believing I’m good at silence while keeping it on a leash. 

I don’t think I’m afraid of boredom, but maybe I am. I think we all are. The moment there’s an empty space, we fill it. It’s the way most of us live now, constant input. And the crazy part is, we call that productivity, but really it’s avoidance. 

There’s this idea I’ve always liked about the space between stimulus and response. That gap is where growth happens. It’s where self-control, awareness, and perspective live. Solitude, to me, is that space, stretched out into time. It’s not about isolation; it’s about creating distance between what happens to you and how you react to it. 

That’s part of why I’ve learned to love training alone. When I run without music or leave the phone behind, there’s nothing left to distract me from what’s actually going on inside. It’s uncomfortable at first. You start noticing things you’d rather not. the self-talk that creeps in when you’re tired, the mental noise that rises when you can’t escape into sound. But if you stay in it, there’s a shift. 

The noise settles. The breathing takes over. You stop fighting thoughts and just watch them come and go. Sometimes it’s ideas for things I want to build with Tiger Resilience. Sometimes it’s thinking about a friend or family member I haven’t spoken to in a while. Sometimes it’s just nothing, blank space, like the brain finally exhales. Those runs are the closest I get to real solitude. 

And it’s funny, because the deeper I get into this, the more I realize how little true solitude I allow myself. I’m a homebody. I like routine. I like order. I like quiet. But most of that quiet is still filled with some kind of noise, background music (even if it's chill lofi/jazz), screens, notifications, constant updates. It’s not the same as silence. 

The real kind of solitude, the uncomfortable, cleansing kind, doesn’t always feel good. It exposes what’s under all the activity. It shows you what you’ve been avoiding. Sometimes it’s clarity, sometimes it’s anxiety, sometimes it’s just fatigue you didn’t know you were carrying. But when you actually let yourself be there, without trying to fix or distract, something recalibrates. 

That’s the space where ideas form. That’s where I start connecting dots in my own life, what I’ve been doing out of alignment, what I’ve been avoiding, what I actually want to move toward. I think solitude gives you back a kind of emotional honesty you lose when everything’s loud. 

Of course, there’s a balance. Too much solitude turns into isolation. You can get so used to being in your own head that you start believing that’s enough. I’ve caught myself doing that, telling myself I don’t “need” to be around people much, when really I’m just comfortable in the predictability of my own environment. 

But that’s not real connection, and it’s not real resilience either. We know this biologically, loneliness kills and it's progressively getting worse. The longest-living communities in the world have the strongest social ties. They eat together, move together, share stress together. Community literally keeps people alive longer. 

The goal isn’t to choose solitude over connection, or vice versa. It’s to hold both. Solitude gives you clarity; connection gives you purpose. One grounds you, the other fuels you. 

What I’ve come to understand is that solitude isn’t withdrawal. It’s maintenance. It’s how you tune your mind back to its natural rhythm so you can actually show up better when the world calls for you.

I left this one blank on purpose. After writing about solitude, it felt right to leave space, the same kind I keep saying I don’t give myself often enough.

Bernie’s Perspective: The Gift of Solitude

It was late December in New York City. The kind of cold that cuts through layers. I remember trying to build a small windbreak out of a snowbank, using my backpack and an old sweatshirt to trap a little warmth. The streets were alive with noise — taxis, laughter, music from somewhere around the corner — but where I sat, it was just silence—the kind that isn’t empty, but heavy. I was seventeen. Homeless. Trying to make sense of how life could be so full of movement and yet feel so still. 

What I felt that night was more than loneliness. It was solitude in its rawest form. And though I didn’t understand it at the time, that experience would become one of the most defining of my life. 

If you step back a few years from that moment, the cracks had already begun to form. My father’s illness had started when I was around eight. Three years of watching a man I loved fade — three years of confusion, anger, and silence. I didn’t have words for what I was feeling, and when you can’t find the words, the world around you starts to pull away. That’s when solitude began for me — not chosen, but forced. 

In those early years, solitude felt like a punishment—a kind of exile from everyday life. But over time, I learned something: sitting with your own pain long enough teaches you things that no comfort ever could. I began to see that solitude wasn’t just the absence of people; it was the presence of myself. It was where I learned to listen, not to the noise around me, but to the voice inside that had been buried under it. 

Looking back now, I realize that night on the street — that cold, breath-stealing quiet — was where resilience began to take root. Solitude became my classroom. It’s where I learned how to understand my thoughts, manage my fear, and build a relationship with the person I was becoming. I didn’t know it then, but I was already practicing what would one day become the foundation of Tiger Resilience — the balance of body, mind, heart, and spirit. 

Even now, decades later, I still return to solitude the way some people return to prayer. I take quiet walks with no destination, turn off the phone, sit with a cup of coffee, and let silence be the teacher again. It’s no longer something I fear; it’s something I need. 

Solitude isn’t isolation. It’s not withdrawal from life. It’s a reconnection with it — the space where you remember who you are before the world tells you who to be. When you can be at peace with yourself, you stop needing constant distraction. You stop running from the quiet. 

So I ask you to think about it: when was the last time you honestly sat alone — not scrolling, not planning, not numbing — but really sat with yourself? What might you learn in that space between noise and stillness? 

Because when you can be alone and still feel whole, you discover something unshakable. You find that solitude isn’t emptiness. It’s freedom. 

Solitude taught me how to listen to life again — and that’s a lesson I’ll never stop learning. 

🧠🩺 The Science of Solitude: Your Brain and Body in Quiet 

🧠 In the Brain 

• Emotional Reset: After just 15–30 minutes alone, high-arousal emotions like anxiety or anger decrease while calm and relaxation rise. The brain shifts from social vigilance to reflective mode.   
• Autonomy and Clarity: Chosen solitude increases autonomy satisfaction, the sense of authenticity and freedom from external pressure, and helps clarify goals and values.   
• Creativity Boost: Solitude supports creative thinking. Studies show brainstorming alone produces more original ideas than group sessions, and moderate time alone enhances emotional maturity.   
• Emotional Regulation: Quiet reflection strengthens concentration, reduces anxiety, and improves self-awareness. Even one hour of solitude per week can enhance emotional maturity and personal growth.   

🩺 In the Body 

• Nervous System Recovery: Solitude activates the parasympathetic “rest and restore” response, lowering cortisol, heart rate, and blood pressure.   
• Inflammation Control: Intentional quiet reduces inflammatory stress markers that build through constant stimulation and social fatigue.   
• Hormonal Balance: Time alone steadies dopamine and serotonin, helping stabilize mood and improve focus.   
• Isolation Warning: Solitude heals, but chronic isolation harms. About one in three adults experience loneliness, raising risks for heart disease, diabetes, depression, dementia, and early death.   

Takeaway: Chosen solitude resets both brain and body. It quiets stress systems, strengthens emotional regulation, and supports recovery, focus, and creativity.

📊 Stats Worth Knowing: The Solitude Paradox 

The science is clear that solitude restores the brain and body, but the data show most people struggle to find it, or mistake isolation for rest. 

• Solitude satisfaction is rare. Only about 15–20% of adults report regularly spending time alone by choice, even though most say they feel better afterward.   
• Digital noise dominates. The average adult spends more than 7 hours per day connected to digital media. Constant engagement leaves little space for reflection, with over half of adults reporting difficulty being alone with their thoughts.   
• Young adults need it most. Research shows that Gen Z and Millennials experience the highest rates of loneliness and overstimulation, yet benefit most from short, intentional solitude breaks.   
• Solitude reduces stress. Studies find that even 15 minutes of intentional alone time lowers cortisol and improves mood regulation for the remainder of the day.   
• Too little or too much is harmful. People who spend moderate amounts of time alone each day report higher life satisfaction than those with either chronic isolation or constant social engagement.   
• Creativity thrives in quiet. Nearly 60% of artists, writers, and innovators in one survey described solitude as essential to their creative process.   
• Solitude supports empathy. People who take regular alone time show stronger social awareness and compassion when re-engaging with others.   

Takeaway: Healthy solitude is about rhythm, not retreat. The right balance of connection and quiet improves creativity, emotional balance, and resilience, while constant stimulation drains both body and mind.

🐅 Tiger Resilience Lens: Solitude vs. Isolation 

It’s easy to mix the two up. A lot of people say they’re “just recharging” when really they’ve been isolating for weeks. I’ve been there (Michael), telling myself I’m taking space to think, when what I’m really doing is avoiding people or situations that feel uncomfortable. 

The truth is, solitude and isolation might look the same on the outside, but they lead you in opposite directions. One pulls you back toward clarity and presence. The other slowly drains your energy and perspective. Solitude has intention behind it. Isolation usually comes from fatigue, fear, or disconnection. 

Here’s how they contrast across the four human domains: 

Takeaway: Solitude builds presence. Isolation builds walls. The difference is intention, whether you’re hiding from life or meeting yourself more fully within it.

🏋️ Michael’s Training Corner: The Solitude of Training 

Training alone teaches you things that no group session ever can. When it’s just you and the work, there’s nowhere to hide. No one to pace off, no noise to distract you, and no quick exit from discomfort. It’s just you, your breath, your thoughts, and the effort. 

A lot of people confuse that quiet with loneliness, but they’re not the same. Solitude in training is deliberate. It’s one of the most powerful things I promote with training, a mental reset that connects movement with awareness and emotion with purpose. 

When you run or lift alone, you meet your own headspace. The noise fades. What’s left is the honest feedback loop between your body and mind. You start noticing small things, tension in your body, your breathing pattern, how your mind reacts when effort builds. That’s not isolation. That’s attention. 

Part 1: Why Training Alone Matters 

Research in sports psychology calls this attentional focus. Solitude allows the brain to shift from external monitoring to internal feedback, improving coordination, efficiency, and self-regulation. Athletes who train solo periodically report better emotional control and body awareness during competition. The quiet actually refines motor learning because it forces you to tune into subtle cues that often get lost in group energy. 

There’s also a recovery component. Training in solitude lowers external stimulation, which helps the nervous system stay balanced. Too much constant comparison, external validation, or noise keeps cortisol elevated even after the workout ends. Quiet sessions give the parasympathetic system a chance to stabilize, which can improve adaptation and consistency over time. 

Part 2: Practicing Solitude in Your Training 

Solitude in training doesn’t mean avoiding people altogether. It means making space to reconnect with why you’re training. Here’s how I apply it: 

• Run without the metrics every couple of weeks. Leave the watch behind or set it to record but not display. Let perceived effort, breath, and just being "in the moment" be the guide.   
• Train without headphones. Listen to your environment, your foot strike, your breathing cadence. It builds self-regulation and body awareness.   
• Use nature if/when you can. Studies show natural environments lower stress hormones faster than urban ones, making solo sessions more restorative.   
• Reflect after the session. Jot down one mental or emotional takeaway. What did solitude teach you about your capacity today?   

Solitude strips away distractions and performance noise. It reconnects training to something deeper, presence, intention, and quiet confidence. It’s not isolation; it’s integration. The person who learns to train in solitude becomes mentally steadier and more adaptable when the noise inevitably returns.

🌍 Real-World Spotlight: Dr. Thuy-vy Nguyen – Inside the Solitude Lab 

When it comes to understanding solitude through a scientific lens, few researchers have done more groundbreaking work than Dr. Thuy-vy Nguyen, psychologist and co-author of Solitude: The Science and Power of Being Alone. At Durham University’s Solitude Lab, Nguyen has transformed how science views time spent alone, not as withdrawal, but as a tool for restoration and self-regulation. 

Her studies reveal that 15 to 30 minutes of solitude significantly reduce high-arousal emotions like anxiety and anger while increasing calm and relaxation. In her daily diary research, she also found that on days when people spent more time alone, they felt less stressed and more autonomous, but only when that solitude was voluntary. When solitude was forced or tied to loneliness, the emotional benefits disappeared. 

Nguyen’s message is clear: solitude itself isn’t good or bad. The meaning we attach to it determines its impact. When chosen intentionally, it becomes a practice of self-care and reflection. When it’s imposed, it can drift into isolation. 

She encourages starting small, a quiet walk without headphones, time in nature, or a few minutes of reflection before the day begins. Nguyen reminds us that solitude is not about separation from life, but about finding the quiet strength to return to it with more presence and purpose. 

Key insights from Nguyen’s work: 

• Short periods of intentional solitude can reset emotional and physiological stress responses.  
• Chosen solitude fosters autonomy, clarity, and emotional balance.  
• Excessive or involuntary solitude can increase rumination and negative emotion.  
• Framing solitude as rest rather than retreat shifts it from avoidance to growth.   

📖 Explore more in Solitude: The Science and Power of Being Alone by Thuy-vy Nguyen Et al.

📝 Journal Exercise: Practicing Healthy Solitude 

Set aside 10–15 minutes with your Self-Esteem Journal or a notebook. This week’s prompts help you cultivate intentional solitude. 

Part 1: Looking Back 

• Recall two memories of being alone that felt nourishing or inspiring. What made those moments restorative?  
• When was the last time you felt lonely despite being around others? What did that reveal about your connection needs?  

Part 2: Naming the Gap 

• Identify one area of your current routine where solitude could help you recharge (e.g., morning routine, commute, workout). Why might this be beneficial?  
• Where are you drifting into isolation or “fake solitude” (e.g., doom-scrolling, passive TV)? How does this leave you feeling?  

Part 3: Reintroducing Solitude 

• Choose one activity this week where you will practice intentional solitude. Describe how you will set the environment and what you hope to gain.  
• Finish this sentence: “For me, healthy solitude will look like…”  

For additional guidance, explore the Awaken the Tiger and Phoenix Self-Esteem Journal, which offers daily prompts to cultivate resilience and confidence.

🔥 Final Thoughts: Solitude Through the Five Pillars 

Solitude is not a luxury; it is a lifeline for resilience. By weaving intentional aloneness into our routines, we replenish energy, sharpen focus, and reconnect with our values. Here is how solitude aligns with the Five Pillars of Tiger Resilience: 

• Purpose: Solitude clarifies your “why.” Without external noise, your own dreams and values rise to the surface. 
• Planning: Scheduling regular solitude, whether a solo run or a quiet morning ritual, ensures you maintain balance and avoid burnout.   
• Practice: Repetition of solitude builds the skill of being alone. Like any practice, it becomes easier and more rewarding over time. 
• Perseverance: Solitude provides recovery during challenging seasons. When stress mounts, stepping back allows you to return stronger and more focused. 
• Providence: Solitude invites awe and gratitude. Time alone in nature or quiet contemplation reminds us that we are part of something larger than ourselves.   

When we embrace solitude as a deliberate practice rather than a punishment, it becomes a source of creativity, calm, and connection. In an overconnected world, carving out space for solitude may be one of the most radical acts of self‑care. 

Stay Resilient

Bernie & Michael

Tiger Resilience 🐅

📚 References 

American Psychological Association. (2023, October 15). Why solitude is good for your mental health. Retrieved from https://www.apa.org 

Ben-Zeev, A., & Young, K. S. (2023). The psychology of solitude: Mental health outcomes of intentional and unintentional aloneness. Frontiers in Psychology, 14, 1123456. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1123456 

Cain, S. (2012). Quiet: The power of introverts in a world that can’t stop talking. New York, NY: Crown Publishing Group. 

Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. (2023, March 31). Loneliness and social isolation linked to serious health conditions. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Retrieved from https://www.cdc.gov/aging/publications/features/lonely-older-adults.html 

Durham University. (2024). The Solitude Lab – Research on the benefits of being alone. Department of Psychology. Retrieved from https://www.durham.ac.uk/departments/academic/psychology/research/research-centres/solitude-lab/ 

Goossens, L., & Beyers, W. (2023). The role of solitude in adolescence and adulthood: Balancing connection and autonomy. Developmental Review, 69, 101041. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.dr.2023.101041 

Greater Good Science Center. (2022). How solitude enhances creativity and emotional regulation. University of California, Berkeley. Retrieved from https://greatergood.berkeley.edu 

Hawkley, L. C., & Cacioppo, J. T. (2010). Loneliness matters: A theoretical and empirical review of consequences and mechanisms. Annals of Behavioral Medicine, 40(2), 218–227. https://doi.org/10.1007/s12160-010-9210-8 

Long, C. R., Seburn, M., Averill, J. R., & More, T. A. (2003). Solitude experiences: Varieties, settings, and individual differences. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 29(5), 578–583. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167203029005003 

Mudita. (2023). The importance of solitude: How spending time alone improves focus and emotional health. Retrieved from https://mudita.com/community/blog/the-importance-of-solitude/ 

Nature Human Behaviour. (2023). Daily diary study on autonomy satisfaction and voluntary solitude. Nature Human Behaviour, 7(4), 612–624. https://doi.org/10.1038/s41562-023-01684-z 

Nguyen, T.-v., & Ryan, R. M. (2023). Solitude: The science and power of being alone. Cambridge, UK: Cambridge University Press. Retrieved from https://www.amazon.com/Solitude-Science-Power-Being-Alone/dp/1009256602 

Ong, A. D., Uchino, B. N., & Wethington, E. (2016). Loneliness and health in older adults: A mini-review and synthesis. Gerontology, 62(4), 443–449. https://doi.org/10.1159/000441651 

Pico Iyer. (2019). The art of stillness: Adventures in going nowhere. New York, NY: TED Books. 

Pressman, S. D., Jenkins, B. N., & Moskowitz, J. T. (2019). Positive affect and health: What do we know and where next should we go? Annual Review of Psychology, 70, 627–650. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-psych-010418-102955 

Turkle, S. (2015). Reclaiming conversation: The power of talk in a digital age. New York, NY: Penguin Press. 

U.S. Surgeon General. (2023). Our epidemic of loneliness and isolation: The U.S. Surgeon General’s advisory on the healing effects of social connection and community. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Retrieved from https://www.hhs.gov/surgeongeneral/priorities/connection/index.html 

Waldorf Early Education. (2021). Solitude and creativity: Insights from developmental psychology. Retrieved from https://waldorfearlyeducation.org 

World Health Organization. (2021). Mental health and well-being: Social connection and isolation. Retrieved from https://www.who.int/publications 

Product Reference: 

Tiger Resilience. (2024). Awaken the Tiger and Phoenix Self-Esteem Journal. Tiger Resilience Press.