Community: The Strength We Share

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📚 Read Time: 10 Minutes 

We live in a time where “community” is everywhere, in hashtags, online groups, workplace slogans, and neighborhood events. Yet, for all the talk of being connected, more people than ever are quietly feeling alone. Loneliness is climbing, even as notifications, likes, and messages flood our days. 

Community has always been more than proximity. It’s the people who walk with you in the grind, the ones who notice when you don’t show up, the ones who make you feel like you belong. Historically, it meant your village or tribe. Today, it can mean your running crew, your book club, your group chat, or even strangers online who somehow feel like family. 

This week, we’re breaking down what community really means, past and present, and why it matters more than ever for resilience. 

What we’ll cover: 

• What community is, from historical roots to modern culture  
• The brain and body science of connection and belonging  
• Eye-opening stats on loneliness and health  
• The Tiger Resilience Lens: Community vs. Individualism  
• Michael’s Training Corner: Why group exercise works and the science behind it
• A journaling exercise to help you build and reflect on authentic community

Because while individual strength can get you started, it’s community that helps you keep going. 

🧭 What Is Community? 

At its simplest, community is a group of people bound by something shared, a place, a purpose, a belief, or even a passion. The word itself comes from the Latin communitas, meaning “shared in common.” Historically, community was inseparable from survival. Villages, tribes, and neighborhoods weren’t optional, they were how people ate, stayed safe, raised children, and endured hardship. 

Over time, the meaning of community stretched. It’s no longer only tied to geography or bloodlines. Today, community can take many forms: 

• In-person: your family, friends, faith group, or local running club.   
• Digital: online forums, gaming groups, or social media circles where bonds form across thousands of miles.   
• Hybrid: groups that live partly online and partly in-person, like professional networks or hobby clubs that gather virtually and face-to-face.   

This expansion has made community more accessible than ever, you can find “your people” with a few clicks. But it’s also made community more fragile. Online, it’s easy to confuse constant interaction with genuine connection. Comment sections, follower counts, and parasocial relationships can mimic belonging without ever delivering it. Having hundreds of digital “friends” doesn’t mean having someone who will pick up the phone when you need them. 

We’ve gained breadth of connection but often lost depth. Digital culture rewards visibility and performance, showing up, posting, curating an image, more than it rewards vulnerability and care. In-person communities, while harder to maintain in a fast-moving world, often provide the grounding and accountability that virtual ones can’t. 

At its core, true community isn’t about proximity or platforms. It’s about belonging. It’s about knowing there are people who see you, support you, and walk beside you when life is heavy and when it’s light. 

Michael’s Perspective: The Evolving Shape of Community 

From an X thread I posted last week about my mile progression that gained some traction, I expected the engagement to focus on the nuts and bolts of training: splits, programming, and recovery. What surprised me most were the responses. People I didn’t know personally shared how the story encouraged them to chase their own goals. Some wrote about coming back to running after years away. Others simply said they were reminded that it isn’t too late to pursue something meaningful, no matter your age. That kind of feedback made me realize what I’d been missing most during my time away from the sport wasn’t just the training itself, but the community that comes with it. 

Community isn’t static. For a long time I thought of it as the people you’ve known the longest, but I’ve learned it’s more fluid than that. These days, some of the most consistent support I feel doesn’t always come from the friends I grew up with or the people who have known me for years. Instead, it comes from strangers who have become teammates, both online and in person, through the shared pursuit of running. That doesn’t diminish the importance of my old friendships, they shaped who I am, but community has seasons, and sometimes the circle that carries you through one phase of life is different from the one that pushes you into the next. 

There’s a principle you might have read online before called the “rule of five,” the idea that we become the average of the five people we spend the most time around. Whether or not you buy the exact number, the truth is undeniable: the people you surround yourself with influence your habits, your perspective, and the standard you hold yourself to. If you’re in a group that normalizes stagnation, it’s easy to stay still. If you’re in a group that pushes growth, you’ll almost always rise with them. 

One of the traps we fall into is believing that if people from our past don’t cheer us on with the same energy they used to, it means they’re rooting against us. More often, it’s not hostility. It’s evolution. Their lives may no longer align with your direction, and that’s natural. Community changes as we do. The key is to stop clinging to the idea that your circle has to remain fixed, and instead see how it can grow, shift, and bring new voices into your life. 

What I’ve also learned is that community doesn’t just happen, it’s built. It’s built through consistency, through showing up even when it’s inconvenient, through small rituals of connection. It’s built when we share struggle openly instead of hiding behind perfection. It’s built when we stop waiting for proximity or convenience and start choosing relationships that truly reflect where we want to be. 

That’s what running has given back to me. It reconnected me with a community of people who live resilience, discipline, and joy in a way that pulls me forward. When I step onto the track now, I’m not just chasing times. I’m stepping into a space where others believe in the same pursuit, and that belief is contagious. Whether it’s someone I’ve known for years or someone I just met online, what binds us is the recognition that none of us are doing this alone. 

At the end of the day, your community is both a mirror and a compass. It reflects who you are becoming, and it helps guide you toward who you want to be. 

Community isn’t just who you start with, it’s who shows up on the journey. Grateful for the crew that makes the miles mean more.

Bernie's Perspective: The Tribe That Saved Me 

When I look back on my life, there are a few chapters that stand out as turning points—moments when the world as I knew it shifted, and I had to find my way through. One of those moments happened in the summer when I finished eighth grade. My father, who had battled colon cancer for three years, passed away in May. In June, I graduated from Catholic school, and suddenly, the ground beneath me felt unsteady. My summer was a mix of uncertainty, fear, and isolation. I was a kid trying to make sense of loss, and the thought of entering a new high school only added to the anxiety. 

That fall, I left the familiar halls of my Catholic school for the unknown world of public high school. Most of my friends went off to Catholic high schools, leaving me feeling like a stranger in a new land. The rules were loose, the social circles different, and—for reasons that still baffle me—there were designated smoking areas outside the school. I tried to find my place, bouncing between my own interests and following those I admired, but the ache of losing my father never really left. 

By the end of that first year, the loneliness was still there. My dad had been my rock, my guiding light, and adjusting to life without him was harder than I could have imagined. My mom did her best—she was strong in her own way—but the foundation of our family had shifted. 

That summer, I made a decision: I was going to join the football team. Sports had always been part of my life, and I wanted to test myself, to see if I could push through this new chapter. Most of the other players had grown up playing together in Pop Warner leagues, something I’d missed out on because of my dad’s illness. I was behind, both in skill and in understanding the team dynamics. 

Football training that summer was brutal—triple sessions at 6 AM, 1 PM, and 6 PM, run by team captains because state law kept coaches at a distance. I remember thinking it must be what Navy SEALs feel like during their infamous “hell week.” I was pushed to my limits physically and mentally, determined to prove to myself that I could handle adversity. 

What I quickly learned was that resilience isn’t built in isolation. It grows in connection. I found a friend in Matt—someone my size, my position, and, as it turned out, my ally on and off the field. When I was bullied by an upperclassman during a scrimmage, Matt was there. He had my back, taught me a few moves, and encouraged me to stand up for myself. That support changed everything. Suddenly, I wasn’t alone. I had someone in my corner, and that made all the difference. 

There was another lesson that season—a tough one. I mustered up the courage to ask our legendary head coach for guidance. I spent ages working up the nerve to walk into his office, only to be dismissed with a glance and a brusque, “Go talk to the line coach.” It stung. I didn’t come from money, and I was living with my mom in my grandparents’ house after so much loss. I never told my teammates how embarrassed I was, but that moment fueled me to work five times harder. I wanted to prove to myself that I belonged, even if no one else saw it. 

Looking back, I see now that those experiences—the pain of loss, the struggle to connect, the grit to keep going—were the seeds of resilience. My “tribe” of friends, especially Matt, helped me through. That foundation would become critical a few years later when my mother remarried, my family fractured, and I found myself homeless at seventeen. The lessons I learned about grit, connection, and resilience quite literally saved my life. 

All these years later, Matt and I still talk every week. We reminisce about our undefeated football team and the lessons we learned—lessons about showing up, having each other’s backs, and pushing through when things get tough. That’s the power of a resilient tribe. And yes, resilience is a skill. It can be learned, nurtured, and strengthened by the company we keep. 

We are not defined by what happens to us, but by the choices we make and the people we surround ourselves with. So, who’s in your resilient tribe? If you haven’t built one yet, I encourage you to start now. We are only as strong as the people who stand with us—and together, we can weather any storm. 

Resilience isn’t built alone. Grateful for teammates like Matt who had my back then, and still do now.

🧠🩺 The Science of Community: Your Brain and Body on Belonging 

Humans are wired to connect. We don’t just enjoy community, our brains and bodies are built to depend on it. When we spend time with people we trust, whole systems in us shift. 

🧠 In the Brain 

• Our “social brain network”, including the prefrontal cortex, amygdala, and mirror neurons, lights up when we engage with others. These areas regulate empathy, decision-making, and emotional attunement.  
• Positive connection triggers a neurochemical cocktail: oxytocin fosters trust, dopamine reinforces the reward of socializing, and endorphins give us the warm glow of laughter or shared activity.   
• When community is absent, the brain interprets it as a threat. Loneliness activates stress circuits, heightening vigilance and rumination. It’s why isolation doesn’t just feel bad, it makes us anxious, distracted, and emotionally raw.  
• Social Baseline Theory shows that our brains actually expect the presence of others. Alone, the brain perceives more strain. Together, it distributes the load.

🩺 In the Body 

• Belonging acts as a natural stress buffer. In one study, women facing threat showed reduced pain and lower stress reactivity when simply holding a loved one’s hand.  
• Supportive relationships help regulate our stress hormones. Cortisol spikes soften when we’re with trusted others, keeping our bodies out of constant fight-or-flight mode.  
• Strong community ties are linked to healthier blood pressure, improved immune function, and lower inflammation. Chronic loneliness, by contrast, weakens immunity and raises risk for cardiovascular disease.  
• Even physical recovery improves with community. Patients who feel socially supported tend to heal faster from illness and surgery than those who feel isolated.  

In short: community isn’t just “nice to have.” It’s medicine. It shapes how we think, how we feel, and how our bodies weather stress. When we are with people who know us and care for us, our biology leans toward balance, resilience, and health. 

📊 Stats Worth Knowing 

The research is clear, community and connection aren’t optional. They’re as essential to health as sleep and nutrition. The numbers tell the story: 

• Loneliness rivals smoking. Social isolation carries a health risk comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes a day. It’s also linked to higher risks of obesity and physical inactivity.   
• Shorter lifespan. People with weak social ties have a 26–32% higher risk of early death compared to those with strong connections.   
• Heart and brain health. Loneliness increases risk of heart disease by 29% and stroke by 32%. Older adults who feel isolated are 50% more likely to develop dementia.   
• Mental health toll. Loneliness roughly doubles the risk of depression and anxiety. It also worsens stress, fueling chronic cortisol spikes and inflammation.   
• Widespread impact. About half of U.S. adults report experiencing loneliness in recent years. Globally, prevalence rates hover between 20–50% depending on region and age group.   
• Performance and productivity. Teams with high trust and connection consistently outperform those without. Yet around 50% of CEOs report feeling lonely, often at the expense of decision-making and resilience.   

The bottom line: community isn’t just about feeling good. It’s one of the strongest predictors of mental health, physical health, and longevity we have. 

🐅 Tiger Resilience Lens: Community vs Individualism 

Community and individualism aren’t opposites, both matter. But when the balance tips too far toward isolation, resilience erodes. Here’s how each shows up across the Four Human Domains: 

The truth: individual effort gets you started, but community sustains you. Together, body, mind, heart, and spirit find their strongest ground. 

🏋️ Michael’s Training Corner: Why Training Together Works 

Training with others isn’t just about company. It changes how we adapt, both psychologically and physiologically. Here’s why community in training matters: 

Part 1: The Psychology of Group Training 

When you walk into a workout with partners, the psychology shifts. 

• Accountability: You’re far less likely to skip or slack when someone is waiting on you. That built-in expectation is a quiet driver of consistency.   
• Identity: Being part of a group shapes how you see yourself. You don’t just “work out,” you’re a runner, a lifter, a teammate. Identity fuels adherence more than fleeting motivation.   
• Social reinforcement: A nod, a “let’s go,” or someone digging deep next to you taps into our need for belonging. Those cues become part of the reward system that makes showing up automatic.   
• Motivational interviewing in motion: Just like in behavioral health, people are more likely to stick with change when supported by peers. Training partners create that same cycle of support and commitment.   

Part 2: The Physiology of Shared Effort 

Beyond mindset, the body responds differently when effort is collective. 

• Endorphin release: Synchronized activity (think rowing crews, group runs) produces higher endorphin levels than solo effort, boosting mood and increasing pain tolerance.   

• Oxytocin boost: Positive group interactions raise oxytocin, which lowers stress and strengthens trust, making hard training feel safer and more sustainable.   
• Reduced RPE: Sharing the load decreases perceived exertion. Matching strides or reps distributes the mental willpower cost, so hard sessions feel more manageable.   
• Performance lift: Having a spotter or training partner often increases reps completed and force output. Energy rises in shared environments.   
• Programming balance: Training with athletes above your level can sharpen adaptation, but it has to align with your plan. Borrowing someone else’s paces or loads without context risks burnout. Use group energy to stretch your edge, not break your structure.   
• Consistency = adaptation: At the end of the day, the body changes through repeated exposure. Community makes consistency easier, and consistency is what drives physiological progress.   

The takeaway: community doesn’t just motivate. It rewires the brain, eases the body’s stress, and keeps you returning long enough for real adaptation to take place. 

🌍 Real-World Spotlight: Robert Putnam on Social Capital 

As a former political science major (Michael), I’ve always been drawn to the work of Robert Putnam, the Harvard professor best known for Bowling Alone. His research on social capital, the networks, trust, and norms that connect us, struck a chord with my political junkie heart and has only grown more relevant in today’s culture. 

Putnam documented how, over the last half-century, Americans have experienced a dramatic decline in traditional community engagement. Membership in civic groups, faith communities, unions, and even bowling leagues dropped. We became, in his words, “a nation of bowlers bowling alone.” 

What Putnam made clear is that this isn’t just nostalgia for small-town life. When social capital erodes, so does resilience at every level: 

• Communities with high social capital have stronger economies, safer neighborhoods, and healthier citizens.  
• Individuals embedded in rich networks report better mental health, greater trust in institutions, and longer lifespans.  
• Societies with weak community bonds struggle with polarization, loneliness, and declining civic health.  

For me, the takeaway is simple: community is more than comfort. It’s infrastructure. Just as roads and bridges allow us to move, social capital allows us to belong, cooperate, and thrive. 

Putnam’s work reminds us that investing in relationships, whether through a running club, a local nonprofit, or even a weekly dinner with friends, isn’t small talk. It’s nation-building at the most human scale. 

📝 Journal Exercise: Building Your Resilience Team 

This week’s practice is about moving community from an idea into action. 

Part 1: Cultivate Connection 

Take 10–15 minutes to identify the communities that matter most in your life. Write them down: family, friends, teammates, faith groups, colleagues, online spaces. For each, ask yourself: 

• Where do I feel most seen and supported?   
• Where do I give energy but rarely receive it back?   
• Where have I been absent that I want to show up more fully?   

Choose one specific action this week to strengthen a meaningful connection, a call, an invite, a thank you, or even joining a group you’ve been hesitant about. Journal how it felt to take that step. 

Part 2: Reflect on Belonging 

Now, turn inward. Write freely on the prompt: “Community to me is…” Don’t overthink. Describe moments in your life when you felt a strong sense of belonging, what did it look like, who was there, how did it change you? Then contrast it with times you felt isolated. What was missing? 

Close by writing one sentence that defines what authentic community means to you. Keep it visible this week, on a sticky note, in your phone, wherever you’ll see it, as a reminder of what you’re building. 

📘 Want a tool to keep this practice going? Our Awaken the Tiger and Phoenix Self-Esteem Journal is designed with prompts that strengthen self-worth and belonging. Available on Amazon. 

🔥 Final Thoughts: Strength in the Circle 

Community isn’t just a comfort, it’s a cornerstone of resilience. When you look closely, it touches every part of how we grow, physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Our Five Pillars make that clear: 

• Purpose: Community helps clarify our why. When we’re surrounded by people who share our values, our goals feel anchored in something bigger than ourselves.   
• Planning: Strong communities don’t happen by accident. They’re built through intentional choices, scheduling time together, creating traditions, making space for belonging.   
• Practice: Connection is a daily act. Checking in, listening, sharing a meal, showing up for a workout, these small, repeated gestures are how community becomes real.   
• Perseverance: Every relationship faces friction. True community lasts because people stay committed, extend grace, and keep showing up even when it’s difficult.   
• Providence: Some of the most powerful connections happen unexpectedly. Trusting that the right people will come into your path when you live with openness reminds us that community isn’t only built, sometimes it’s gifted.   

At Tiger Resilience, we believe individual effort gets you started, but it’s community that sustains you. Strength is multiplied when it’s shared. 

Stay Resilient

Bernie & Michael

Tiger Resilience 🐅 

📚 References 

Cacioppo, J. T., & Cacioppo, S. (2018). Loneliness in the modern age: An evolutionary theory of loneliness (ETL). Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 58, 127–197. https://doi.org/10.1016/bs.aesp.2018.03.003 

Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., Baker, M., Harris, T., & Stephenson, D. (2015). Loneliness and social isolation as risk factors for mortality: A meta-analytic review. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 10(2), 227–237. https://doi.org/10.1177/1745691614568352 

Holt-Lunstad, J., Robles, T. F., & Sbarra, D. A. (2017). Advancing social connection as a public health priority in the United States. American Psychologist, 72(6), 517–530. https://doi.org/10.1037/amp0000103 

Putnam, R. D. (2000). Bowling alone: The collapse and revival of American community. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster. 

Samarrai, F. (2006, December 19). U.Va. researcher finds high-quality marriages help to calm nerves. UVA Today. Retrieved from https://news.virginia.edu/content/uva-researcher-finds-high-quality-marriages-help-calm-nerves 

Sample, I. (2009, September 16). Working in a team increases human pain threshold. The Guardian. Retrieved from https://www.theguardian.com/science/2009/sep/16/teams-endorphins-pain-threshold 

Selassie, S. (2020). You belong: A call for connection. New York, NY: HarperOne. 

U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Office of the Surgeon General. (2023). Our epidemic of loneliness and isolation: The U.S. Surgeon General’s advisory on the healing effects of social connection and community. Washington, DC: Author. Retrieved from https://www.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/surgeon-general-social-connection-advisory.pdf 

Waldinger, R. J., & Schulz, M. S. (2023). The good life: Lessons from the world’s longest scientific study of happiness. New York, NY: Simon & Schuster. 

Warren, H. (2024, February 13). Benefits of exercise classes and groups. Baylor College of Medicine – Momentum Blog. Retrieved from https://blogs.bcm.edu/2024/02/13/benefits-of-exercise-classes-and-groups