Success: Beyond the Outcome

Welcome to Our Latest Newsletter! 

📚 Read Time: 10 Minutes 

As kids, fun was automatic. We made games out of sticks, turned backyards into kingdoms, and laughed until we couldn’t breathe. Somewhere along the way, most of us lost it. Duty replaced play. Optimization replaced curiosity. Fun became something we would “get to later” if there was time. 

But here’s the truth: fun is not optional. It is a biological necessity. Play fuels creativity, strengthens resilience, deepens connection, and reminds us that life is not only about endurance, it is also about enjoyment. When people look back at their lives, they rarely count trophies or bank statements. They count the moments that made them feel alive. 

This week, we are reclaiming fun as an essential strategy for health, performance, and happiness. 

What we’ll cover: 

• 🧭 What Is Fun? — Why even asking the question feels comical, and how adults can re-learn it   
• 🧠🩺 The Science of Fun: How play sparks dopamine, endorphins, and resilience in the brain and body   
• 📊 Stats Worth Knowing: How often adults are (and are not) having fun, and what the numbers tell us   
• 🐅 Tiger Resilience Lens: Fun vs. Duty across body, mind, heart, and spirit   
• 🏋️ Michael’s Training Corner: Part 1 — the role of play in training; Part 2 — why adults treat fitness as a chore and how to flip that mindset  
• 🌍 Real-World Spotlight: A thought leader who has made the case for fun as essential, not extra   
• 📝 Journal Exercise: Prompts to help you rediscover fun in your week with our self-esteem journal tie-in   
• 🔥 Final Thoughts: Fun through the Five Pillars of Tiger Resilience   

If you missed any of our earlier issues, you can always find them, along with the full archive, in the Tiger Resilience Newsletter Library. Share it with a friend who could use more joy in their week. Our community grows stronger each time someone new joins the conversation.

🧭 What Is Fun? 

It almost feels ridiculous to ask the question, doesn’t it? What is fun? You know it when you feel it. Kids never sit around debating definitions of fun. They just chase it, invent it, and live in it. Somewhere along the way, though, adults forget. We trade recess for responsibility, games for goals, and play for productivity. By the time most people hit their late twenties, surveys show more than half feel like they have “lost their sense of fun.” 

So what are we really talking about here? Fun is not just entertainment or distraction. It is not zoning out with Netflix or endlessly scrolling your phone. That can kill time, sure, but it rarely leaves you feeling alive. Fun is a state where three things often overlap: 

• Playfulness: Doing something for the simple joy of it, without worrying how you look or whether it is “useful.”   
• Connection: Sharing laughter, experiences, or energy with people around you, or feeling connected to something beyond yourself.   
• Flow: Being so engaged that time disappears. You are not watching the clock; you are in it.   

When those pieces come together, you get what some psychologists call “true fun.” It is energizing, memorable, and restorative. Think of a pick-up game that left you sweaty and laughing. A family game night that turned into inside jokes for weeks. A hobby session that made hours fly by. That is fun at its best. 

On the other side, there is what many of us settle for, call it “fake fun.” The kind that feels like an escape but leaves you drained. The late-night scrolling that gives you nothing back, or the “treat yourself” binge that doesn’t actually restore you. Fake fun fills time. True fun fills you. 

Here is the point: fun is not childish. It is human. It is not a distraction from resilience. It is resilience. Fun interrupts stress, resets the nervous system, strengthens bonds, and reminds us that life is not just about checking boxes. It is about moments that make the whole journey worthwhile. 

Michael’s Perspective: Fun Isn’t Optional 

We often mistake being serious for being dedicated. But seriousness is not the same thing as commitment. In fact, I’d argue the opposite: we are at our most dedicated when we are having fun. 

Think about the teams, workplaces, or even training groups you’ve been part of. Too often, leaders build cultures that strip out joy under the false belief that seriousness equals discipline. What actually happens? Creativity drops, motivation fades, and people start going through the motions. A joyless environment doesn’t make people more committed, it makes them more likely to burn out. 

The same is true on a personal level. One of the patterns I notice in my generation, especially among men in their 20s and 30s, is the quiet loss of fun. After college, hobbies often get shelved. Work and responsibility take over. Add the distortion of social media, where we measure ourselves against curated highlight reels, and it becomes even harder to find outlets that bring real joy. 

We have plenty of data showing that both Millennials and Gen Z report feeling adrift. Some of that disconnection, I believe, comes from not being able to name a single activity they do purely because it’s fun. Not productive, not optimized, not posted online, just fun. 

This is one of the reasons I champion exercise so much. Yes, the physiological benefits are massive. But just as important is the rediscovery of fun through movement. Many of the activities we did as kids, running, playing games, racing each other, were fun because they lit up our brain’s reward system. Dopamine, endorphins, oxytocin. That wiring never went away. We just stopped using it. 

I was reminded of this the past weekend. Some friends came into town. Our definition of fun has changed since college, but it hasn’t disappeared. On Saturday, we went for a run. Neither of them run often, but afterward both said how much fun they had. Not because of the pace or distance, but because of the simple joy of moving outside, exploring a city, and being in the company of people trying to better themselves. 

Sunday looked different. Football, food, laughter. That was fun, too, but I told them they should place Saturday’s run just as high in their personal hierarchy of joy. Before the games, I did my long run with another friend, finishing as the sun came up over the skyline. That feeling, the euphoria of running hard as the city wakes, is one of the purest forms of fun I know. 

Here’s the mantra I carry with me and share with friends, clients, and family: Are you actually having fun? Can you point to something in your daily life that brings you joy? If the answer is no, or if you have to think too long about it, that might explain why so many people feel unfulfilled. 

Fun doesn’t have to be constant. There will be stretches of life where responsibilities weigh heavier. But when you zoom out on the timeline of your life, fun absolutely has to be present. Otherwise, what are we really building toward? 

As a coach, I believe the number one factor for whether someone sticks with physical activity long-term isn’t the program, or the perfect progression, or even the results. It’s whether they actually enjoy the process. If training feels like punishment, it won’t last. If it feels like play, it becomes part of who you are. 

Fun isn’t optional. It’s the glue that holds dedication together. Without it, you might force yourself through for a while, but you won’t thrive. With it, you’ll keep showing up, not just because you “have to,” but because you want to.

Sometimes fun looks like a Sunday long run at sunrise.
Sometimes it looks like football, food, and good people.

Bernie’s Perspective: Good Time Harrys and the Real ROI of Fun 

I don’t think anything captures the truth about fun quite like my wife’s grandmother, Jenny. Now, Jenny wasn’t just anybody — she was the matriarch. A tough, resilient woman who came over from Poland at the age of one with her mother, grew up through the Depression, and built a business when times were hard enough to break most people. She believed in hard work as if it were gospel. Success, to her, was an equation: sweat + grit = survival. 

Now, on the other side of the spectrum, I had a good friend, Jeff. Jeff spent a lot of time on recreation and leisure activities. And why not? His wife’s family wealth gave him the luxury. He had the boat, the summer cottage, and the ski trips to Jackson Hole. We skied together weekly — though let’s be clear, I was sneaking away from ten-hour workdays and he was sneaking away from… nothing. 

Jenny used to call him a “Good Time Harry.” I thought it was hilarious. Anytime one of us took a little time for ourselves, I’d say, “Well, here we go, another Good Time Harry.” What I failed to see at the time was this: fun isn’t frivolous. Fun isn’t a luxury. Fun is self-care. 

Back then, my life was a grind: seven days a week, 10 to 15 hours a day. I thought I was buying my future with sheer work ethic. Looking back now, the ROI on all that extra work? Pretty lousy. Sure, I learned some competencies, discipline, and how to survive corporate chaos, but I lost out on what really sticks — the memories of joy, recreation, family dinners, weekends away. If I had the chance to rewrite that chapter, I’d slash my hours and double my time with the people and passions I loved. 

This is the trap many of us from earlier generations fell into: work first, play later. The trouble is, “later” often never comes. Technology wasn’t at our fingertips, so that was the model: hustle now, hope for free time later. 

These days, I do things differently. I schedule fun. Literally — it goes right on the calendar. I lean on an old Buddhist concept, the “wheel of life,” where each spoke represents an area: family, finance, health, and career. But you know what’s often missing? Fun. To me, that’s a fundamental flaw, because without joy the wheel doesn’t roll smoothly. 

So what does fun look like for me today? Playing music with my band (a musician never loses that spark). Hiking and camping. And my favorite — hopping on my ATV and getting 100 miles deep into God’s country. As I sit here prepping my October calendar, I’ve already blocked off days for riding, hiking, and band practice. Because here’s the truth: if it’s not scheduled, it doesn’t happen. 

I’ll leave you with this: what have you scheduled for fun this October? If the answer is nothing, ask yourself why. Chances are, those barriers are self-inflicted. Fun is not a guilty pleasure — it’s fuel. It restores us, connects us, and yes, it even makes us more resilient. 

Now - for goodness’ sake, be a Good Time, Harry, once in a while. Your work will still be there when you get back — but your joy won’t wait forever. 

🧠🩺 The Science of Fun: Your Brain and Body on Play 

Fun might look lighthearted on the outside, but inside the brain and body it is serious business. Neuroscience and physiology show that joy and play are not just mood boosters, they are core ingredients for learning, health, and resilience. 

🧠 In the Brain 

• Play is hardwired. Neuroscientists like Jaak Panksepp identified “play” as a basic emotional system, as essential as fear or hunger. Our brains reward playful exploration with steady dopamine, which fuels curiosity and motivation.   
• Endorphins and laughter. True fun triggers endorphin release, the brain’s natural painkillers, creating a mild euphoria. Laughter especially raises pain thresholds and leaves us energized instead of depleted.   
• Learning and creativity. When we play, the prefrontal cortex lights up, boosting creativity and problem-solving. Positive emotions also spark more BDNF (brain-derived neurotrophic factor), which strengthens new neural connections.   
• Stress reset. Play and anxiety cannot coexist. A playful state lowers activity in the amygdala, quieting fear responses. Even framing a challenge as a “game” reduces threat signals in the brain.   
• Social bonding. Fun shared with others releases oxytocin, the bonding hormone, alongside dopamine and endorphins. That chemistry explains why laughter and play make us feel closer to people, even in stressful contexts.   

🩺 In the Body 

• Stress hormones drop. When we have fun, cortisol levels decline and the parasympathetic nervous system takes over. Heart rate steadies, blood pressure lowers, and muscles relax.   
• Immunity gets a boost. Positive emotional states. laughter, play, enjoyment, have been linked to stronger immune function, including more active natural killer cells and antibodies.   
• Energy and vitality rise. Fun can be paradoxical: you spend energy but end up feeling recharged. Playful activities bring blood flow, oxygenation, and a lift in overall vitality.   
• Mental health resilience. Adults who engage in regular play report higher life satisfaction and lower rates of depression and anxiety. Fun acts as a pressure valve and builds a “reserve” of optimism to draw on in hard times.   

Takeaway: Fun is not trivial. It is biology working in our favor. The brain uses joy to reinforce learning, connection, and creativity. The body uses fun to regulate stress, restore balance, and strengthen immunity. In other words, when you take time for fun, you are not slacking off. You are giving your system exactly what it needs to thrive. 

📊 Stats Worth Knowing: Are We Having Fun Yet? 

The science tells us fun is essential. The numbers tell us most adults are not getting nearly enough of it. 

• Fun fades early. A recent survey of 2,000 adults found that 56% say they have lost their “sense of fun” as they got older, with most reporting that fun peaked in childhood and started fading by their late twenties.   
• Laughter declines with age. While children can laugh hundreds of times per day, adults average only 15 to 20 laughs per day. That drop represents a major loss of one of our body’s simplest stress-relievers.   
• The hobby gap. Roughly one in four U.S. adults report having no regular hobby or recreational activity. Those who do often spend far less time on them than they would like.   
• Vacation avoidance. Americans leave a staggering amount of fun on the table, in 2023, workers left more than $300 billion worth of paid vacation days unused. Two-thirds of employees admitted they did not take all their PTO.   
• Burnout epidemic. About 77% of professionals say they have experienced burnout, often linked to overwork and a lack of joy in their routines.   
• Hobbies and health. A global study found that older adults who maintained hobbies and leisure activities reported significantly better health and happiness than those who did not. Fun literally contributes to longevity.   
• Fun as resilience. Research shows that people who regularly experience positive emotions like play and laughter bounce back more quickly from stress and trauma than those who do not.   

Takeaway: We are working more, laughing less, and leaving joy on the shelf. Yet every piece of data points to the same conclusion, fun is not a luxury. It is a key ingredient in mental health, physical vitality, and resilience.

🐅 Tiger Resilience Lens: Fun vs. Duty 

It’s easy to let duty crowd out fun. We fill calendars, meet deadlines, and handle responsibilities until joy feels like something reserved for children or vacations. But when life tilts too far toward duty alone, resilience begins to erode. Fun restores balance. It keeps us energized enough to carry the responsibilities that matter most. 

Here’s how fun and duty contrast across the four human domains: 

Fun and duty are not enemies. They are partners. Duty gives structure, fun gives fuel. Together they create the balance that resilience requires.

🏋️ Michael’s Training Corner: Finding Fun in Training 

Part 1: Why Fun Fades in Adult Training 

When most people think about training, fun is not the word that comes to mind. Somewhere along the line it turned into a chore. Another item on the to-do list. And when that happens, your body and your brain both treat it like stress. Cortisol goes up, recovery takes longer, and sessions that should build you up start to wear you down. 

Think about it: as kids, we never had to be told to move. We sprinted across fields, played pickup games until dark, climbed whatever was in front of us. Nobody needed to bribe us with calories burned or steps per day. The movement itself was the reward. That same wiring is still in us as adults. The dopamine, the endorphins, the oxytocin, they all light up when training feels like play. We just bury it under jobs, responsibilities, and outcome chasing. 

As a coach, I see this all the time. People come in with good intentions, but because the process feels like duty, they treat training as another stressor. That’s when consistency breaks down. You can’t grind joyless forever. 

Part 2: How to Bring Fun Back 

The solution isn’t to throw structure out the window. You still need progression, recovery, and overload if you want results. But if you want to stick with it, you have to bring fun back into the process. Here’s where the science and the coaching meet: 

• Build on structure, add small twists. The base of your training has to be repeatable work. That’s how adaptation happens. But layering in occasional new drills, partner challenges, or even changing the environment can spark motivation without derailing the plan. Novelty is seasoning, not the meal.   
• Give yourself choice. Motivation sticks when you have agency. Even small decisions, like which lift to start with, boost adherence. This is straight out of motivational interviewing research: ownership matters.   
• Chase flow. The sweet spot is just hard enough that you have to focus, but not so hard you shut down. Tempo runs, hill sprints, skill-based lifts, these create that flow state where time disappears and effort feels lighter.   
• Change the script. Stop saying “I have to work out.” Start saying “I get to train.” That shift matters. The brain processes the stress differently, cortisol stays lower, and the positive feedback loop kicks in. 

If training is only about outcomes, it becomes brittle. One bad session feels like failure. But when training has fun woven into it, the nervous system treats stress as challenge, not burden. That’s the difference between burning out in six months and building fitness you actually enjoy for decades.

🌍 Real-World Spotlight: Catherine Price on the Power of Fun 

When it comes to reclaiming fun in adulthood, one of the strongest voices today is author and science journalist Catherine Price. Her book The Power of Fun makes a case that fun is not trivial but central to well-being, creativity, and resilience. 

Price describes what she calls “True Fun,” a combination of playfulness, connection, and flow. Unlike passive entertainment or empty distraction, true fun leaves you feeling more alive and restored. It lights up the brain’s reward pathways, lowers stress, and deepens relationships. 

She also makes an important distinction: most of what we call “fun” as adults isn’t actually fun. It’s passive consumption, scrolling, streaming, or numbing out, which she labels as “fake fun.” That type of activity fills time but empties energy. True fun, on the other hand, creates memories, sparks laughter, and strengthens bonds. 

Price argues that when people intentionally pursue true fun, they experience more creativity, better health, and a stronger sense of purpose. Fun, in her words, is not extra. It’s “a superpower that makes us feel alive and helps us handle the hard stuff.” 

Key insights from Price’s work: 

• True fun is a blend of playfulness, connection, and flow, not just entertainment.
• Fun is a biological resilience tool that reduces stress hormones and supports long-term health. 
• Most adults default to “fake fun,” which numbs rather than restores.  
• Choosing true fun creates energy, creativity, and stronger relationships that last.   
• Fun is not optional. It is essential for survival and resilience in a world where duty often dominates.   

📖 Explore more in The Power of Fun: How to Feel Alive Again on Amazon.

📝 Journal Exercise: Rediscovering Fun 

This week’s practice is about noticing where fun has slipped out of your life and where it can come back in. Set aside 10–15 minutes with a notebook or your journal and explore the prompts below. 

Part 1: Looking Back 

• Write down three memories from your childhood or teens that stand out as pure fun. What made those moments feel so alive?  
• How often do you feel that same sense of fun now? Be honest, when was the last time you truly laughed or lost track of time in joy?  

Part 2: Naming the Gap 

• List two areas of your current routine where fun has been replaced by duty. How does that affect your energy or motivation?  
• Where do you find yourself turning to “fake fun", scrolling, binging, numbing, instead of experiences that truly restore you?  

Part 3: Reintroducing Fun 

• Identify one activity this week that could bring back true fun: playfulness, connection, or flow. Put it on your calendar like any other priority.  
• Finish this sentence: “For me, fun this week will look like…”  

The goal isn’t to add another task to your to-do list. It’s to remind yourself that fun is fuel. When you bring joy back into your days, resilience follows naturally. 

📘 Want more daily prompts that guide you toward joy, confidence, and resilience? Check out our Awaken the Tiger and Phoenix Self-Esteem Journal.

🔥 Final Thoughts: Fun Through the Five Pillars 

Fun might feel like an extra, something to sprinkle on top of the “serious” parts of life. But when you look closely, it is woven into every layer of resilience. Without fun, routines become brittle, relationships flatten, and even progress loses meaning. With fun, you restore the energy and perspective that keep you moving forward. 

Here is how the Five Pillars connect to fun: 

• Purpose: Fun aligns with your deeper “why” when you choose activities that bring real joy instead of hollow distraction.   
• Planning: Scheduling fun is not childish. It is strategy. When fun is built into the week, stress lowers and consistency rises.   
• Practice: Fun turns repetition into play. Whether it’s training, hobbies, or relationships, practice sticks when it’s enjoyable.   
• Perseverance: Fun creates fuel for the hard days. Laughter, connection, and play give you the energy to keep going when challenges mount.   
• Providence: Fun reminds us that not everything can be controlled. Some of the best moments happen in spontaneity, when you allow space for joy to surprise you. 

Resilience isn’t just about enduring. It’s about living in a way that, when you look back, you can say you didn’t just survive, you had fun along the way. 

Stay Resilient

Bernie & Michael

Tiger Resilience 🐅

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