A slower race. A missed lift. A setback at work. What looks like failure might be proof you’re on the right track, if you know how to read  ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌ ‌
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Success: Beyond the Outcome

Welcome to Our Latest Newsletter! 

📚 Read Time: 10 Minutes 

Three weeks ago we explored Identity, the story that shapes who we are and how we show up. Two weeks ago we turned to Progress, the steady forward motion that transforms who we are into who we’re becoming. Last week we looked at Authenticity, ensuring the progress we chase is true to our values. 

Now, in this final part of the series, we arrive at Success. Not as a single finish line or one-time achievement, but as a journey of growth. Success is measured not only by external outcomes, but by the clarity we carry, the lessons we learn, and the person we become along the way. 

If you missed any of the earlier issues, you can find them, along with our full archive, in the Tiger Resilience newsletter library. Share it with a friend who might need these words today; our community grows stronger each time someone new joins the conversation. 

What we’ll cover: 

  • What success really means, beyond shiny trophies and outward milestones  
  • The brain and body science of success: motivation, stress, and learning  
  • Surprising statistics on success, failure, and well-being  
  • The Tiger Resilience Lens: Success vs. Failure across body, mind, heart, and spirit  
  • Michael’s Training Corner: Part 1 — the art of peaking; Part 2 — finding success even when you miss your goal  
  • A real-world spotlight on a thought leader with a unique take on success  
  • A journal exercise to help you redefine success in your own life  
  • Final thoughts tying success back into the Five Pillars of Tiger Resilience  

🧭 What Is Success? 

Success is often pictured as a single moment: the medal, the promotion, the PR, the final outcome. Those milestones matter, they’re real markers, and they can open doors. But if we stop there, we miss the bigger picture. Success is not only what you achieve; it’s also how you grow and who you become along the way. 

At its core, success is built on a few key elements: 

  • Clarity of Purpose: Knowing your values and identity, so the goals you pursue truly belong to you. Without this clarity, you can climb the wrong ladder and still feel empty at the top.   
  • Support and Belonging: Success rarely happens alone. A strong community gives encouragement, accountability, and security. Belonging lowers stress, strengthens resilience, and allows you to push further without breaking.   
  • Intrinsic Motivation: Lasting motivation comes from within, doing the work because it matters to you, not just for applause or reward. External markers can inspire, but they fade quickly; intrinsic drive is sustainable.   
  • Growth and Mastery: Success isn’t just the finish line, it’s the learning and craft you develop along the way. Each repetition, each adjustment, each lesson learned is part of the win.   
  • Balanced Identity: Success becomes fragile if your entire worth is tied to one outcome. When you cultivate multiple sources of meaning, in relationships, health, creativity, career, you avoid burnout and keep perspective when setbacks happen.   

The pitfalls are clear: an “all-in at all costs” mentality, relying solely on external validation, or confusing your identity with a single outcome. Each of these makes success brittle. But when success is defined broadly, it becomes resilient, a process of continual growth that endures through both triumph and failure.

🔥 Michael’s Perspective: Process Over Outcome 

This week I read a meta-analysis. For anyone who hasn’t been deep in research, that basically means the top of the evidence pyramid. Instead of one study, it takes everything we know on a topic, pulls the best pieces together, and shows what holds up across the board. Back in school, I wasn’t exactly focused on that. My priorities leaned more toward social life and partying than trying to figure out which type of study carried the most weight. But looking at one now, through the lens of training, I see why it matters. 

The paper was a 2022 meta-analysis on goal setting in sport (Williamson et al.). Out of almost 18,000 studies, they pulled 27 that met the standard and compared different types of goals. The results were clear. 

  • Process goals (controlling the actions you take) had the biggest impact on performance (d = 1.36) and boosted confidence more than anything else.   
  • Performance goals (chasing a time or weight) had a moderate effect (d = 0.44).   
  • Outcome goals (winning, placing, external results) had almost no effect (d = 0.09).   

That ranking lined up perfectly with my 5K this morning. 

I finished 4th overall. My time was slower than I wanted. The first thought in my head was that I failed. If I’m serious about getting to the level I say I want, I should be winning these races and running faster. That’s outcome and performance thinking taking over. 

But when I take a step back, the truth is this race was never about that. I didn’t taper or prepare for it. It was meant to be a hard effort folded into training, another brick for my aerobic base heading into winter track goals. By definition, that’s a process goal. 

It hit me even harder when a friend asked how I did. I gave them my time and place, expecting a flat reaction. Instead they said it was amazing, inspiring, fast. Their reaction stopped me. They weren’t measuring it by the clock. They were seeing the process. Seeing someone show up, compete, and keep building. 

Cooling down, I kept thinking about that conversation. My first instinct was to call the race a failure. But the reality was different. I got the effort in, I walked away healthy, and I added another layer to the base I’m building. That is success. Not the kind that makes a headline, but the kind that actually keeps you moving forward. 

The meta-analysis put numbers behind what I felt. Process goals don’t just help you perform, they give you the confidence to stay the course. And that’s the piece we often miss. Success isn’t the one big breakthrough, it’s the discipline of stacking enough small steps that you eventually have something worth calling a breakthrough. 

Maybe the most important lesson is this: success doesn’t always show up in the way you expect. Sometimes it looks like a win. Other times it looks like showing up on a random Sunday, racing hard, and realizing that what you thought was failure was actually the process doing its job.

(Pictured Second to the Right as the Village People in HighSchool)

Success shows up in the process, even when the outcome feels like failure.

Bernie’s Perspective: How I Learned to Rethink Success 

Let me take you back to my sophomore year at Madison High—back when my biggest worry was whether my helmet hair would survive the fourth quarter. We were closing in on the end of football season, undefeated (yes, you heard that right—undefeated!), though there were a couple of games that had me chewing my mouthguard down to a nub. Madison had a reputation for a solid football program, and our coach? Let’s just say, if there was a Hall of Fame for pep talks and sideline squats, he’d be in it. 

Championship game. Union High. For the first time all season, we found ourselves behind at halftime. The locker room was so quiet you could hear a Gatorade bottle sweat. Then Coach gave us a rally cry that would’ve made even the Tiger in our logo proud. We hit the field, executed like a well-oiled machine, and brought home the championship. That year, and the two after, Madison went undefeated—33 and 0. Not that I’m bragging (okay, maybe just a little). 

Back then, I thought that was the definition of success: set a goal, crush it, repeat. But life, as it tends to do, had other plans. After my father passed and my family unraveled, I lost my voice—literally and figuratively. By senior year, I was living in New York, homeless, and the glory of those undefeated seasons felt about as useful as a snowblower in July. Success? At that point, it seemed like a souvenir from a life that wasn’t mine anymore. 

But here’s the twist—those wins, those moments of grit and teamwork, weren’t meaningless. They were building blocks, quietly stacking up resilience and tenacity, even while I was busy measuring myself against everyone else (a hobby I don’t recommend). Without a father figure, my self-worth felt like a coupon that had already expired. Still, I found mentors and guides who helped me patch together a sense of direction. 

For years, I thought “success” meant a trophy, a title, a scoreboard that always read “Tiger: 1, Life: 0.” But over time, I realized sometimes success is just surviving the storm—even if you come out with your hair (and pride) a little mussed. Think about Apollo 13: NASA called it a “successful failure.” Didn’t get to the moon, but they made it home. Sometimes, just standing on the other side of disaster is the win. 

These days, after overcoming alcoholism, I wake up and count every morning as a victory. Seriously—if my head leaves the pillow, I’m already winning. The rest? Roses. (Okay, maybe some dandelions, but you get the point.) 

We live in a world obsessed with success—Instagram highlight reels, workplace competition, and now, AI that can apparently do everything except make a decent cup of coffee. But the real challenge is finding our own definition of success, one that isn’t measured by likes, trophies, or the latest tech trend. 

So here’s my invitation: Look within. What have you done today that brought you pride, or even just relief? Those moments—big or small—are the real markers of success. Don’t compare your journey to anyone else’s. Find your own meaning, your own grace, your own reason to rise.

Here’s a recent family moment—proof that sometimes, success is just getting everyone to smile at the same time (and nobody spilled anything… yet).

📊 Stats Worth Knowing 

Success is hard to measure, but surveys and research reveal how people experience it, and how fragile it can become if defined too narrowly. 

  • Most people feel successful, on their own terms. In a 2025 survey, 90% of respondents said they believe they have achieved success in life. Yet their definitions leaned toward balance: family, fulfillment, and personal growth mattered as much as income or career .   
  • Career vs. personal life diverge. In the same study, 81% said a stable job and 80% said high earnings were key signs of career success, but for personal life, 83% chose “pursuing dreams” and 80% chose daily life satisfaction . The disconnect shows why many people can look “successful” at work yet feel unfulfilled overall.   
  • Money isn’t everything. Research shows that prioritizing extrinsic goals like wealth or fame is linked to lower well-being and higher distress over time . Beyond meeting basic needs, how you earn and why you earn matter more to happiness than the amount.   
  • Burnout is widespread. Roughly 77% of professionals report experiencing burnout in their job at some point (Deloitte, 2020). Among entrepreneurs, nearly 8 in 10 say the pressure to succeed has harmed their mental health. Defining success only through relentless output is a recipe for exhaustion.   
  • Failure fuels future wins. Studies show students with a growth mindset are 3x more likely to reattempt hard problems after failing compared to peers with a fixed mindset. Similarly, over 60% of startup founders who eventually succeeded had at least one failed venture beforehand, crediting those failures as essential lessons.   
  • Support networks drive thriving. Gallup research shows employees who strongly agree they have a mentor are 2.3x more likely to report thriving in life overall. Success is rarely a solo act; connection directly improves performance and well-being.   

Takeaway: The numbers tell a consistent story: success isn’t just about outcomes. People thrive when they define success broadly, balance achievement with fulfillment, learn from failure, and build it within supportive networks. 

📊 Stats Worth Knowing 

Authenticity is hard to measure, but the numbers show how deeply it shapes performance, motivation, and well-being: 

  • Most people hide who they are at work. A Deloitte study found that 60% of U.S. workers engage in “covering”, downplaying or hiding aspects of themselves to fit in. This comes at a cost: lower engagement, more stress, and reduced creativity.   
  • Authenticity boosts engagement. In a leadership survey, 93% of employees agreed authenticity at work is important, and those who felt they could be authentic reported higher confidence, greater engagement, and stronger morale.   
  • Authentic goals are more successful. People pursuing self-concordant goals, ones aligned with their true interests, are significantly more likely to persist and succeed than those chasing goals imposed by others. They also report higher satisfaction when they achieve them.   
  • Younger generations demand it. Surveys show that 92% of Gen Z say authenticity is their most important personal value. They seek out communities, leaders, and organizations where they can align their values with their daily lives.   
  • Authenticity improves well-being. People who report higher authenticity consistently show lower levels of anxiety and depression and higher life satisfaction, according to multiple meta-analyses on authenticity and mental health.   

Takeaway: Authenticity is not a luxury. Most people struggle to live fully authentic lives, yet the research is clear: when you align your goals and actions with who you really are, you perform better, feel stronger, and build resilience that lasts. 

🐅 Tiger Resilience Lens: Success vs. Failure 

It’s tempting to think of success and failure as opposites: one to chase, the other to avoid. But resilience means seeing them as connected. Failure isn’t the end of the story, it’s often the very feedback that makes future success possible. Likewise, success without setbacks can be fragile, leaving us untested and unprepared. By reframing failure as part of the process, and success as more than just a single moment, we create space for growth in every outcome. 

Here’s how they compare across body, mind, heart, and spirit: 

Domain 

Failure (What it really gives you) 

Success (What it really means) 

Body 

A stress signal and a data point. Missed lift, off-day race, or fatigue = information about recovery, volume, or pacing. Adaptation starts here when you respond, not react. 

Capacity expressed at the right time. Hitting a PR or feeling strong in training confirms the process is working—then you protect it with smart recovery. 

Mind 

Friction for learning. Errors expose skill gaps and strategy flaws; they sharpen attention and refine your plan. 

Clarity and confidence. Executed plans and skill gains reinforce effective habits without breeding complacency. 

Heart 

Humility and connection. Naming a setback invites support, strengthens trust, and builds compassion for yourself and others. 

Shared joy and gratitude. Wins land deeper (and last longer) when you celebrate with the people who helped you get there. 

Spirit 

Realignment. “Why am I doing this?” Failure tests motives and brings you back to purpose when you’ve drifted. 

Alignment. Daily actions match values; progress feels meaningful beyond any single outcome. 

Bottom line: Failure isn’t the opposite of success. it’s the raw material that success is built from. Use failure as feedback; use success as confirmation. Both are required to grow across body, mind, heart, and spirit. 

🏋️ Michael’s Training Corner: Success in Training 

Part 1: Peaking — Timing Your Success 

One of the biggest misconceptions I see in people (even myself at times) is thinking every race, workout, or test should be their best. The truth is, you can’t hold peak fitness year-round. The body adapts in waves, stress, recovery, adaptation, and those waves need to be stacked toward a specific point in time. That’s what peaking is. 

When you’re in the middle of heavy training, you’re carrying fatigue. If you step on the line for a local race during that phase and feel flat, that’s not failure. That’s exactly what should happen. You’re not tapered, you’re not fresh, and that race is serving a different purpose, maybe it’s a hard effort under fatigue, maybe it’s practice with race-day nerves. In both cases, the result on the clock doesn’t tell the full story. 

Think of peaking like aiming a spotlight. If you try to keep the light blazing all year, it burns out fast. But if you dim it strategically and then focus the full beam at the right moment, the championship, the key meet, the goal race, you’ll shine when it matters most. 

  • Peaking is planned: Performance is highest only when training, recovery, and taper align.   
  • Checkpoint races ≠ final exams: Mid-cycle efforts are about practice and fitness tests, not chasing PRs.   
  • Carrying fatigue is productive: Feeling flat during training blocks means you’re stressing the system for growth.   
  • PR every week is a warning sign: It usually means you’re peaking too soon or not training hard enough between races.   
  • Success is cycle-aware: Knowing where you are in the build, peak, or recovery phases prevents false judgments about progress.   

Part 2: Redefining Success Beyond Numbers 

Success isn’t only measured by the stopwatch or the weight on the bar. Progress shows up in dozens of smaller ways, and if you miss those, you’ll miss the bigger picture. 

  • Consistency: Showing up week after week is the biggest win.   
  • Form & Mechanics: Cleaner technique now means fewer injuries later.   
  • Recovery: Bouncing back faster is proof of adaptation.   
  • Strategy & Mindset: Better pacing, fueling, and mental resilience all count.   
  • Enjoyment: If you’re starting to like the process more, that’s success too, it keeps you in the game long enough to break through.   

Takeaway: Success in training is twofold. The macro level is about peaking when it matters most. The micro level is stacking the daily, less glamorous wins that build the foundation. If you respect both, you’ll stop labeling off-days as failures and start seeing them as part of the architecture of long-term success. 

🌍 Real-World Spotlight: John Wooden on Success 

When it comes to redefining success, few voices stand taller than legendary basketball coach John Wooden. Wooden won 10 NCAA championships with UCLA, but what set him apart wasn’t just the titles, it was his philosophy of success itself. 

Wooden defined success as: “peace of mind which is a direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you made the effort to become the best of which you are capable.” Notice what’s missing: winning, fame, or comparison to others. For Wooden, success was an inner scorecard measured by effort, preparation, and integrity, not the scoreboard. 

Key insights from his approach: 

  • Effort over outcome: Wooden told his players the true victory was giving their best, regardless of the result. If you left it all on the court, you succeeded.   
  • Character as the foundation: His “Pyramid of Success” placed values like industriousness, enthusiasm, loyalty, and self-control as the building blocks. Trophies were by-products.   
  • Process focus: He rarely talked about winning games. Instead, he emphasized practice, preparation, and teamwork. Winning usually followed as a natural consequence.   
  • Failure reframed: A loss wasn’t necessarily failure if the team had given their best. Conversely, a win earned through sloppy play wasn’t true success either. 

Wooden’s perspective resonates beyond sports. In business, relationships, or personal growth, defining success by effort, character, and daily practice frees us from the fragility of external validation. His players often said the lessons they carried into life weren’t about basketball, but about living with integrity and resilience. 

📖 You can check out more about Wooden’s perspective on success, and how it connects to other facets of life. in his book Wooden: A Lifetime of Observations and Reflections On and Off the Court  

📝 Journal Exercise: Redefining Success on Your Terms 

This week’s practice is about stepping back and noticing how you define success, and how that definition shapes your daily choices. Set aside 10–15 minutes, grab your journal, and work through these prompts: 

Part 1: Your Current Definition 

  • Write down what “success” means to you right now. Be honest, is it tied mostly to outcomes, achievements, or comparison?  
  • List three markers of success that have guided your choices in the past year.  

Part 2: Broadening the Lens 

  • Write about one moment of “failure” that actually helped you grow. What did you learn from it?  
  • Identify one area where you’ve overlooked progress because it didn’t show up as a number or milestone.  

Part 3: Building a Balanced View 

  • List three non-outcome signs of success you’d like to notice more often (e.g., consistency, joy in the process, stronger relationships, recovery).  
  • Finish this sentence: “For me, success this week will look like…”   

Takeaway: Success is as much about clarity, growth, and alignment as it is about outcomes. By reshaping your definition, you’ll find more places to celebrate progress and more resilience when setbacks come. 

📘 Want more structured prompts to help you build clarity and confidence? Our Awaken the Tiger and Phoenix Self-Esteem Journal is designed with daily practices that guide you toward a healthier, more resilient view of yourself and your success.

🔥 Final Thoughts: Putting It in Perspective 

Over the last month we’ve looked at identity, progress, authenticity, and now success. Taken together, they show us that resilience is never about a single win. It’s about carrying the lessons forward, whether things go your way or not. 

Through the Five Pillars, success looks like this: 

  • Purpose: Keeping outcomes tied to your deeper “why,” not just outside expectations.  
  • Planning: Understanding where you are in the cycle, build, peak, recover, and setting goals accordingly.   
  • Practice: Trusting the daily work, even when it doesn’t show up yet in a result.
  • Perseverance: Meeting setbacks with adjustment, not despair. 
  • Providence: Staying open to timing, luck, and the opportunities you can’t control.   

What emerges is a version of success that can’t be taken away by a bad race, a missed promotion, or a setback in life. Because when success is rooted in clarity, consistency, and resilience, every outcome has value. Wins confirm the path, failures refine it, and both shape the person you become.

Stay Resilient

Bernie & Michael

Tiger Resilience 🐅

📚 References 

Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68–78. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.55.1.68  

Edmondson, A. C. (1999). Psychological safety and learning behavior in work teams. Administrative Science Quarterly, 44(2), 350–383. https://doi.org/10.2307/2666999 

Goldman, B. M., & Kernis, M. H. (2002). The role of authenticity in healthy psychological functioning and subjective well-being. Annals of the American Psychotherapy Association, 5(6), 18–20.   

Grandey, A. A., & Gabriel, A. S. (2015). Emotional labor at a crossroads: Where do we go from here? Annual Review of Organizational Psychology and Organizational Behavior, 2(1), 323–349. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev-orgpsych-032414-111400 

Kernis, M. H., & Goldman, B. M. (2006). A multicomponent conceptualization of authenticity: Theory and research. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 38, 283–357. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0065-2601(06)38006-9 

Luthans, F., & Avolio, B. J. (2003). Authentic leadership: A positive developmental approach. In K. S. Cameron, J. E. Dutton, & J. E. Quinn (Eds.), Positive organizational scholarship: Foundations of a new discipline (pp. 241–258). Berrett-Koehler.   

Rogers, C. R. (1961). On becoming a person: A therapist’s view of psychotherapy. Houghton Mifflin. https://www.amazon.com/Becoming-Person-Therapists-View-Psychotherapy/dp/039575531X 

Schmader, T., & Sedikides, C. (2018). State authenticity as fit to environment: The implications of social identity for authenticity. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 22(3), 228–259. https://doi.org/10.1177/1088868317734080 

Tyler, T. R., & Blader, S. L. (2005). Can businesses effectively regulate employee conduct? The antecedents of rule following in work settings. Academy of Management Journal, 48(6), 1143–1158. https://doi.org/10.5465/amj.2005.19573114 

Wigert, B., & Harter, J. (2017). Employee engagement and authenticity at work. Gallup Workplace Research. Retrieved from https://www.gallup.com/workplace/236441/employee-engagement-authenticity-work.aspx 

Williamson, O., Swann, C., Bennett, K. J. M., Bird, M. D., Goddard, S. G., Schweickle, M. J., & Jackman, P. C. (2022). The performance and psychological effects of goal setting in sport: A systematic review and meta-analysis. Psychology of Sport and Exercise, 64, 102343. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.psychsport.2022.102343 

Yoshino, K., & Smith, C. (2013). Uncovering talent: A new model of inclusion. Deloitte University Leadership Center for Inclusion. Retrieved from https://www2.deloitte.com/content/dam/Deloitte/us/Documents/about-deloitte/us-inclusion-uncovering-talent-paper.pdf 

Wooden, J. R., & Jamison, S. (1997). Wooden: A Lifetime of Observations and Reflections On and Off the Court. Contemporary Books. https://www.amazon.com/Wooden-Lifetime-Observations-Reflections-Court/dp/0809230410 

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